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Growing UP
Working these Figures,
I am Growing Up.
Date: 8/15/2006 7:24:29 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 836 times 5:04 PM
August 15, 06
Puer.
Puer.
The Child that never grows up.
So much to reflect on.
A good day of working the Figures.
Set up Community Asset Balance
dilligently.
My Left Brain has been out of control
for a long time, just like the Kid,
the Child, Puer.
Makes Sense:
Look at him!
There he is my father.
I am a kid, and he is waiting to get me.
I have escaped for the day.
Broke Religious Codes of the Sabbath.
He is waiting at the top of the Hill.
I am coming home and cannot tell him
where I have been with change in my pocket,
maybe taken from Mother's change purse.
Illegal: That's where it all starts.
The Criminal Mind.
Something to run from. Home.
Something to feel shame over
deep in the head.
I pretty much have surrendered today
to these Money Numbers. They are here
to teach me some deep spiritual lessons
about all this Trauma so close to the Foundation
never set up squarely.
Never wanted to be square, always round.
My Magic...how profound to have discovered
Magic and in Moments to be One with the Enchantment
that is the Universe.
There have been Witnesses.
I have been diligent about recording the Magic too.
Lots of photos. Lots of reports, hand written
at the time of the event.
The Whole Being Weekend is coming up on the
Fall Eqinox. I have been in Magic up there and had
it reported.
Once, a man was making me a shirt.
I asked for a Thunderbolt. The sky covered over.
There was a Thurnderbolt.
Another time I was on stage.
I had one of my favorite plants with me.
I was reading a poem. It was a cloudy eve.
I said, "Somethings we have to be the Sun for each other."
The plant had a bloom, a bloom that rarely opens more
that once a year. It opened during the ten minutes
that I was reading a poem on stage. 400 people saw it.
I have had people tell me numbers of times,
that they have seen me in other places that I have not
been. I know I travel a lot at night. I learned to do that
during the years I was totally crippled in my body
and yearned to get out.
Magic becomes clutter when the remnants of it
just sit on shelves in your room collecting dust
as Manuscripts never released.
Puer's do not finish.
They are Peter Pan's that fly,
inspire, but never grow up.
I never realized how abused I was my Father.
I can see it now, as I near complete the House Financial
Structures.
I have taken the time.
My speeding brain, the speeding that they invented
drugs to stop the Hyper Kids, has never been medicated.
There is a deep restructuring going on inside me
as I Work these Figures.
I have been in a lot of emotion during this process.
So much trauma guarding the Setting Up of the Foundation.
I will never be happy doing Magic
in esoteric circles. These Figures are teaching
me to slow down the brain waves.
I have had many days and nights of torment
these many weeks of this process.
My guts drop out when I have the sensation
that I did it wrong, when the numbers will not add
up.
I have slowed down enough to learn how to
make these reports happen so I can generate
the numbers I want to see.
It has been painstaking.
It is filled with Puer stuff.
With running away from Father Stuff.
Now I can see glimmers of light.
"Victory!" is the Angel card I have pulled
and visible on my desk.
We had a leak in the bathroom next to my
office that simple would not stop, no matter
what Rainbow the Plumber did.
I am noticing that that leak stopped by itself
when I started to close the leaks in my Finances.
Leslie
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