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No Toxic People, Just Toxic Emotions
long drama filled post...get your tea cups lol
Date: 5/31/2018 6:51:20 AM ( 6 y ) ... viewed 1797 times Just sat down to the computer. This is late for me as it is 07:15...these days I've already gotten my workout and meditation in. All things are possible on a day off :-)
Yesterday I had such a good, productive morning and then it went to shit by the afternoon. My husband brought home a car that costs $6000 and at first I was like...okay cool but then I was like...another bit of debt to TRAP ME. I'm getting a sign on bonus from when I graduated last year. Y'all know I am wee behind on my student loans LOL because I don't want to pay that b*word at all. Anyway, my husband was after me about the car and I got into a negative headspace and of course at work...more negativity.
Patients were negative, violent, spitting on nurses, kicking,etc. then I get a letter from Nordic Track which made me go nuclear negative. I was disappointed in their customer service this time around, and I was signed up for an ifit account and they told me they can't remove it from the financing arrangement. I would not have purchased this treadmill if I had to buy a personal training package along with it.
Anyway, I pushed that out of my mind to do the admission for work and actually... was feeling good then the admission came late almost NINE at night when I'm scheduled to leave at 11pm :( so it's close to midnight and I'm wrapping things up and nurse buddy goes...well did you do the careplan and master treatment plans? EFFF NO...I'm going home.
I deeply resented the intrusion of work into my precious routines. I deeply resented myself for a whole lot of things and got home was too strung out to do my nighttime routine which is my prayers which I hardly ever miss. Woke up this morning with anxiety chest pains and said I'm just going to lay here but that wasn't working. Went down to the couch and couldn't go back to sleep despite having a benadryl beore bed. So I was like...screw this I need to go for a walk and change the "tape" in my head.
I sat down and repeated Invictus which I memorized a while ago. Then I began thinking about memorizing an Emerson poem called Parks and Ponds. Thinking about doing a pup walk then hitting the gym for my Navy Seal workout. But enough thinking and blogging I'm off to do something :-)
Vitamins on board:
lion mane
agrikon
onnit alpha brain
EFX kre-alkalyn one cap
OUT OF ORMUS...I need it.
BYEEEZEES
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