Blog: Sick and tired of being sick and tired
by t123

Struggling with "Survival Mode"

Struggling with past survival issues towards eating

Date:   4/18/2010 6:58:13 PM   ( 13 y ) ... viewed 1265 times

As a kid I grew up dirt poor. A lot of time we had nothing to eat. I would search the house looking for anything to eat. I called this "survival mode". Because all I could think about was food, how to get food, where to find food.
I find that I have been struggling with this these past two days while trying to fast, the "survival mode" has come back. I know that I am purposely fasting, but feel like I did when I was little and had no food. I have been searching my cabinets and fridge to find anything edible I can still eat. I got rid of most of everything prior to fasting.
I ended up eating spoonfuls of ground flax seed and some plain spaghetti flavored with liquid amino and seasonings because that's all I could find. It wasn't good. It was like my childhood where I ate whatever gross food I could find just to survive.
Now I feel all gross. I think I will throw out, the rest of the spaghetti. flax seed and liquid amino so I can fast. I hate to waste it though, cause I could still use it later. I don't know what to do.
Going to attempt fasting again tomorrow. I really need to and now is a good time for me to do it.

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