Got through day 1, on to day 2.
Date: 2/11/2010 2:04:23 PM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 895 times
I want this to be my last fast, at least the last fast that I have to do for weight loss purposes.
I need to lose about 15kg. I'm shooting for 30 days. The first 8kg should come off very quickly because it's really just a spike up from binging after eating really clean and maintaining around 52kg for a month. (This was after a fast.) I really don't enjoy fasting, but do like the effects: feeling cleansed and ready to be healthy.
So, I got through day 1, which was not easy. I had three or four humps that I had to get over to get through. I was even lying in bed, after having put my baby to sleep, contemplating whether I should get back up and go across the street to the drugstore to stock up on bread, butter, cheese, chocolate and ice cream and just start "tomorrow" but ... after all the effort it took to get to that point in the evening without messing up, I thankfully decided to stay where I was and get some rest instead. It's such a wretched thing, this overeating, especially if you have other people to take care of and you have a husband. I'm always hiding it from him, of course, but he always knows when I've eaten what I didn't want to eat. So sad. I don't want to be that person any more. I want to be able to be proud of everything I eat and eat only things that nourish and energize me without weighing me down. I've been doing 811 low fat raw vegan with at least 80% of calories from carbs, under 10% from each of fat and protein, and trying to eat mostly whole fruits and greens (not blended or frozen) and no salt, oil, spices, cooked foods, legumes, grains, etc. No fancy gourmet raw foods. My body feels great when I eat this way. I got off track, I think, because I was frustrated with the weight not coming off fast enough, the selection of fresh fruits not being that great in winter. I am able to stay raw if I give myself permission to just eat more raw foods when I am feeling bad cravings which come in part from having a strong association to certain processed foods as being comfort foods. addiction, I think. But it was forever a conflict in my head when I was having cravings yet wanting to stay within 1500 calories so that I would have a chance at losing weight. So I hope this time, after I fast and break the fast s.l.o.w.l.y, like I did last time, scaling up the calories slowly, without the pressure to lose weight, it will be a better environment for me to really get solid in the raw foods lifestyle. It all tastes so good after the fast too.
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