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Ok so it's been a coupla' days
A healthy start to my morning.
Date: 10/18/2008 11:56:33 AM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 38251 times I did not officially start Atkins until yesterday. Went great. No cravings for carbs at all. Which is wierd because I also started my period, and I usually eat everything is sight. I bought ketosis strips to test my urine, but I'm not sure how to do it while I'm bleeding. I guess the regular clean catch way might work. I will try the very next time I pee. I weighed 153 when I got up yesterday morning. Same today. On another subject, I have applied at most department store retailers in my area for seasonal work, something is bound to give. I want to have a car sign made advertising the cleaning work that our handyman service provides so I can get in on some of the vacant homes that are out there. We do the complete cleaning to ready vacancies for rentals. I figured why not do the same for foreclosures. This keeps my days flexible for the kids needs and school. Of course I havent worked in ages and that is why ive been looking for a job, but maybe the car sign will change things. And speaking of school. Thursday was a disaster. I absolutely could not stay awake. I fell asleep while taking notes in Geography. I have no idea what Thursdays lecture was about, so hopefully no quiz on Tuesday. I have a high c in the class as it is, I cannot afford to do worse.
With all this going on though, I have been able to take a look at the problems in my relationship. It seems to be boiling down to me. I am unhappy because I feel like now is a good time to be a bit selfish. I have raised the kids mostly. My youngest is 10, and all of my kids are very independent. The oldest has already moved out. (he's another issue). I am back in school and getting a degree so that I can have a good paying career. Self confidence and self worth will greatly increase. I have worked hard and lost 50 pounds. There are so many smaller accomplishments, that I am proud of. But I hate the house I live in, and that will not change unless hubby does as agreed and fixes it. He is trying, but very slowly. Who wants to come home after a long day at work, and work? I feel like he is being unfair to one of my older kids. He had him work for him twice and still owes him for it. Yet, he had another guy work and will go out of his way to get him paid. I think he is taking unfair advantage of my son. He will not acknowledge this. When I went to bed last night, the kitchen was fairly clean. Hubby decided to make cookies. Everything is still out. The oven was even on still when I got up. His ever annoying excuse, "I forgot". He is so used to using that as an excuse, that never works by the way, that it is automatic. Now these may seem like trivial things. They may be. But I have ben with him for 11 years, and although he has improved, he has not 11 years improved. There is no big difference. I have tried to live his way, and I am just tired of it. I would like to wake up to a house that looks like it did when I went to bed. I want a home with fully fuctioning appliances. No drafts because he never finishes anything he starts. I am by no means perfect, But I do my best when it is something I have control over. My flaws lie within my personality, and I am doing everything in my power to correct those too.
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