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starting by water fasting
pre water fasting (soul prep)
Date: 7/26/2008 9:37:33 AM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 1094 times a bit about me on fasting.
i have dont MC for 34 days length and
tho i must admit that it wasnt easy but it's something
that i counted as my success.
anyways i ate bad and with all excuses and stress.
i gained the weight i lost back as well as my self control
and self confidence. the strong me was gone
as i eat my weight up i gained about half that i had lost
on mc. which is around 5kg. and lost strength i once had
when i was on mc. the feeling that i can do all things.
but now, i forgive myself, and not going with heavy emotion
about it. lightly permit myself to try hard again for tomorrow.
and success again. and i know this time.
it's going to be it. i have faith.
this time i want to try water fasting.
and i shall keep up with this journal on how do i feel and how it goes.
when i was about to end my MC on my last fasting i tried oil pulling
and somehow want to try again after this water fasting this time.
also after MC fasting i was a raw foodist for a while until
i got back to my home country where i gathered back with my family
there i started to loose my control.
i blamed myself for not being strong and believe in myself enough
that this is what i want, to be in this shape and feel light.
i gave in to my family worries about my slim appearence.
somehow nomatter how i put it, i was the one who gave in. and take
all the consequences.
so this time i really asking myself, what i want to be, how do i want to look.
i would be happy if i lost extra pounds that im carrying.
there i'll be at peace, feel stronger, more self confidence, less jealous
of slim bod gals around me and wont blame myself for not permitting myself
having what i wish to have.
so i am supporting myself to what i wish for. and i shall try my best to fetch
myself what i want. i know that nobody else can or willing to suffer to make me
happier, other than myself.
so when i feel weak. i shall tell myself that
the weaker i am the more i limit my world, the smaller self i become.
i worse i feel. the more i shy the more i shame.
i did not even try to be strong and solve my own problem.
i can do but i refused to do it.
and i shall deserve living a second longer as a "loose again".
and eat a lot after i broke my promise and looking forward for tomorrow
that will repeat with more possibility of failure.
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