MMS for MS, cont'd
I fail - dates and bad news have me smashing into walls - is there something quick to stop a flare-up as it rages?Yeesh. Things are at a screaming stressful pitch at the moment, and I failed my protocol. I can hardly write, but I will try. I have gotten so much worse that I am smashing into the walls as I try to get down the very short hallway or into doorways as I try to walk through them. Things were already stressful and then about 5 hours ago, I found out that someone I love dearly is going through something I am going through, too, and we are both suffering immense anguish and despair from it. This makes me feel very frightened, uncomfortable, stressed, cold, and depressed. Very scared, very stressed. I don't feel Schadenfreude, but misery does love company, but I had no idea about it at all and am very shocked and hit badly and chilled and despondent and feaful. So I was emailing her and it was taking so long because I have to correct every word I type, and I got way behind schedule. Suddenly, because of my e-yakking, I was late for water, late for MMS number 3, late for pau d'arco and a source of omega-3 (marine phytoplankton, in my case) and I was hungry. I discovered there was no food at all I could eat except rock hard, unpeelable avocadoes and moldy bok choy. And those dates had arrived. I opened the box and binged on dates. I discovered that I can't use them even if I didn't have candidiasis. They are too dry, even these moist ones. I just have never been a dried fruit person, even when I was fruitarian. And this really sent me over the edge. I thought I would die. My whole head tingled so badly and my heart rate pounded up twice as high (up to 120) as usual. I slammed into walls. I really felt frantic. It was a mistake and a failure and all I've learned is that there's one less food I can eat when I DO go veganic (these veganic dates would have been a great source of calories, had I been able to eat them comfortably).
I'm frantic about the DMSO idea. I got confused the other day, you see, and ordered paradophilus by mistake, when it seems I should have ordered DMSO, as an MMS "going deeper" adjunct. So now I'm heavily in debt about the paradophilus and it's been suggested that I might try DMSO instead and NOT do the paradophilus. Meanwhile, I had to listen AGAIN to the paradophilus salespatter - oh, how great it is for candida, how in a few days you'll really feel it, read the testimonials (yeah, right). It was at that point of confusion (and my thinking these days is always very confused and close to dysfunctional - this last dose of MMS today I could no longer measure out the drops and had to do it over and over trying to get it right) that I fell upon the newly-delivered box of dates, having just that moment seen there would be no dinner (I forgot about the heart of romaine I still have).
Anyway, after whirling around falling around, I dove into dose number three of the MMS for today, hoping against all evidence it would ameliorate something of this flare-up. It went down very smoothly, I have no problem taking it now at all. No relief.
It's very difficult for me not to think about giving up. At least giving up the MMS. And I yearn to go veganic. Even if I have to live on chlorella and uncooked silky sea palm. I'm in turmoil, my ears are hammering away in my skull (one of my worst symptoms is tinnitus and hyperacusis, which robs me of my former identity as daily music explorer and whistling virtuoso, like Wittgenstein ((how embarrassing)) ), and my vision fades in and out now.
I wonder if there's any point to taking a fourth dose, or standing on the useless Rife machine? I know there's none in taking a hefty dose of the FiveLac and Candex and Oxy Elements Plus that I have remaining from the months I put in using those at mega-max. dosages. Maybe I will just keep drinking good old-fashioned pau d'arco tea and see what happens!
I know I shouldn't be getting hopeful again about DMSO and paradophilus. I wish I could save myself from doing so, from the disappointment that always follows when you find out THEY'RE LYING. Or delusional.
If I discover relief from the flare-up, I will let candid-ers know. Especially MS-ers need to know if there are any quick things to do to stop an attack. I'm going to drink some pau d'arco diurectic pee now!
Date: 2/18/2008 9:46:25 PM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 2949 times
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