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Day one and thoughts.
Day one and thoughts
Date: 1/22/2008 11:38:09 AM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 2531 times
Day one and pre-thoughts. :D
Firstly, I'm not exactly sure what's lead me down this path. I've always been, overtly rational, scientific and cynical, and my research into cleansing diets of all kinds has been extensive. While the users claim that they often work miracles, modern western science often regards cleanses as dubious at best, scams at worst.
Meh, I think. I need this.
I have spent a very long, arduous and difficult 2 years suffering from severe overwork, stress and anxiety. Either my nutrition has been terrible or non-existent. I have been fired from the only career I ever knew, left my city, my friends and family, my country, gotten married, and become rather dependent on my husband while i wait out the legalities of immigration. I'm not sure whether the dependency is harder than the move, as I've always been independent, perhaps to a fault.
Instead of whining and crying and whinging and wishing for things to be different, I've simply come to realize that my life is my life, whether I like it or not, and I best use this time, which many never get, this excruciatingly long 'holiday' to do some personal inventory. Which has, over the last 6 months led me to realize that food has replaced independence in my life.
I've suffered from disordered eating most of my adult life, for various reasons, and one thing I know, is that in times of crises and stress it becomes a focal point. I use it as company, as a distraction, or on the other end of the spectrum, I completely erase it from my life as a way to eek out control. It really must stop.
I aim to reclaim a healthy relationship with both food and my body through this endeavor. For me, this cleanse is as much psychological as it is physical. Through it I am to break the irrational thinking I've developed surrounding food, feeding myself, and define, for myself, what health means, define for myself the difference between destructive self-control and constructive willpower.
I realize that based on my eating disorders this is a dicey route to take, but frankly, I've lived with this monkey on my back for quite long enough, and nothing, NOTHING else has worked, and in a flash of silent insight, it occurred to me that perhaps I need to do exactly the opposite of what I would normally do. Challenge my beliefs in these ideas I think are so concrete.
That is the background of this little blog. You're welcome to come along with me for the ride, if you wish. For the record, I am a 33 year old female. I am a tight size 6 ;) (for those interested in the weight aspect) I will keep an eye on that as well.
Specifics of Day one (keep in mind I just woke up about an hour or 2 ago ;)
The salt water is gross, though less so than I imagined it might be.
I like the lemonade, seriously.
Also...is the Yogi Detox tea acceptable as an evening tea? Anyone?
Perhaps more later....
Cheers
kiki
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