- Day 14 and 15 by FirstFastMay06
18 y
3,737 3 Messages Shown
Blog: TODAY I will not drink alcohol!
I made the 2 week mark which I knew I would probably do. I am really worried about these cravings I am getting lately though. I know that it will be a battle for the rest of my life.
Today I went for my assessment to get into out-patient rehab. Guess what though? They said my second assessment would be on September the 15th. That is a month and 1 day. Are they stupid or what? This is a failing system. They let court appointed go before people that actually want the help. I will find another place to go if I feel like I can't wait that long, but I think I may be able to if I set my mind to it. By that time I probably won't need it as much as I do now. At any rate I do not plan on drinking and so far these 15 days sober
I also have to wait for an appointment to the doctor's office. Time is something that is going to test me. I will try to remain strong and keep on writing in this blog. It is giving me the most help so far. It really is helping me because when I want to drink I think about how it will look here. I hope that this blog will one day help someone in a similar situation. This is giving me some of the motivation to quit. I have this thought in my mind that keeps telling me if the doctor's visit comes up ok and I have no problems, then it will give me a free ticket to drink again until I do get sick. It makes me sick to think that way, but it is always occurring in my mind. I am in need for a new mind set and hope that I will hurry up and find it. I am thinking about getting involved in church and some other activities that I can focus on to get my mind off of alcohol.
As far as making it through the weekend. I told all of my fiancee's family that I was battling alcohol and that I quit. They didn't know that I was having a hard time with it at all. They just thought I got occasionally drunk. I am very open with it though and have let everyone around me know, including my co-workers. Even strangers that I don't know I have told what I was going through. I am not going to sugar coat my disease anymore. I want it out in the open so that I can constantly remind myself what I have dealt with for the past 16+ years plus the years that I was growing up and living with my father which was an alcoholic. It is scary to think about that, but I pretty much had it around me my whole life. Sad is what it is and I have the choice to make my daughter's life different than mine was.
Life is better right now. I am enjoying everything around me. I know that something will come up and test me soon, but I have to worry about that when it comes. One day at a time is all I need right now. I look forward to waking up sober in the morning and it is something that I am still not used to. I just want to be normal again.
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FirstFastMay06
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- Change by Roaminone1
18 y
1,442
| i grew up in an alcholic home as well.So I totally know where your coming from. My mother would either be drunk when I got up to go to school or passed out or sometimes not home. She drank alot (and smoked alot) for over 20 years. She was very depressed and let it control her life. Eventually her doc gave her a pill (for depression- and Im not condoning taking perscriptions)but she quit drinking instantly. Maybe you need to take some vits that are good for depression or anxiety or something like that and it would help? She has been sober 9 years and she will now actually have ONE beer and can stop. I think you are giving the "disease" to much credit. I have read about positive affirmations and think they really help. you have to believe it is happening or has happened-change the way you think about drinking... it doesnt have control over you! This is all easy to say but sometimes harder to change the way you have been thinking for 34(me) years I drink to much,when I drink,and am trying to get a control on it as well. Someone awhile ago posted about candida and it being the root and I think they are right. I think if you continue with your cleanses and decide to change your life and stick to it things WILL eventually change. I think you are doing great and are very determined and WILL do it
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Roaminone1
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- hang in there by bricklayer
18 y
1,531
| I would suggest you take vitamin B's and lots of them. Are you oil swishing?
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bricklayer
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