- Feb 14 by annaconda
18 y
2,400 2 Messages Shown
Blog: Wedding Diet
Today's a crappy day.
I don't know why but sometimes I just can't stick with it. Portion control has been going really well, but I had a crappy day at work from the moment I walked in to work.
Of course, that made me crave whatever - today being Valentine's day, I got myself a three musketeers bar.
Big salad for lunch, and a sliver of cheesecake.
And the fiance wants to make steak for dinner... but I have my colonic tomorrow! I know I'm supposed to clean out today, not eat badly. Well I'll try to keep it cool tonight. I was doing REALLY well for a few days, then today. And man can I feel it - I just ate too much and now I'm all bloaty. The good news - I hate feeling this way. I know it makes me feel miserable, and not feeling that way for a few days made me feel great.
Good news - I'm off to the gym tonight. I'm going to kick my own butt and really work hard, then go home and enjoy myself cleaning the house for our guests this weekend.
Oh yeah, having tons of friends from NYC up this weekend, and I really need a good stragegy.
1) One glass of wine is OK, after that, sparkling water only.
2) One serving of food. Period. We're going to make casserole and some yummy stuff. I'm thinking with so many people there I can just tuck out of the way when it comes to eating small portions at mealtimes.
3) exercise a bit every day.
I've skimped on the exercise for the last week and it doesn't feel good. One day of bad eating also feels not good. Man this is so hard. I felt for a few days like I could really feel my thin self trying to break through and get out. Today I feel nothing like that. I feel like I'm supposed to be this way, like I just naturally suck more than the next person.
I hope it gets better. At this rate I don't want to go near my dress. And I'm supposed to show my mom this weekend - my mom who's super thin and exercis-y and though she's got lots of other issues, is the main reason I have to lose weight - I don't want to be next to her in pictures looking fat. Fat like I know she thinks I am.
f***.
I'm going to stop writing cause this is getting nasty and destructive and I feel like crap.
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annaconda
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- Give yourself some love! by Dazzle
18 y
829
Cheer up, the fact that you are aware of what you're doing and why you feel the way you do, is brilliant! Many people can't figure it out. But it's apparent you can. Don't beat yourself up so badly... You're only human. I don't know any one who does not have their weaknesses.
Take each day as they come... maybe even take each moment as they come... bite size pieces. Perhaps your finace and friends could give you a bit more support. Such as not grilling steaks when you're trying to improve your health through diet. That's like my husband smoking when I am trying to quit. Pisses me off so bad. When I'm pissed I do bad things... but don't we all? He's getting better about that though... and doesn't keep his smokes around and even "sneaks" the smokes because I told him I was going to soak every pack I find. Without support from those closest to us, it makes our journeys so much more difficult. But first we have to put our foot down and insist on the support if it is not forthcoming voluntarily.
Don't give up and since it IS Valentine's Day, give yourself some love. You definitely DESERVE it!!
*hugs*
~ Dazzle
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Dazzle
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