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Lauray’s Success in Annual 40-Day Fasts Blog: 2013
by lauray

17 blog entries; 17 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 53,809 times
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  • Mon.3/25: Compulsed to Eat, Though Eating IS NOT OK WITH ME   by  lauray     9 y     4,514       8 Messages Shown       Blog: Lauray’s Success in Annual 40-Day Fasts Blog: 2013
    Needed to note that I have this chronic condition and I am in it now and IT IS NOT OKAY WITH ME

    HOW can I EVER stop acting like this? -- Being MISERABLE and KNOWING eating IS THE WORST MOST WRONG MOST HORRIFICALLY SELF-VIOLATING THING I COULD POSSIBLY DO and yet still being compulsed to go through the hideous charade of going to the store . Getting fude. Slamming stuffing it into myself.

    My drug dealers, the stores, MUST know how I feel

    THE F U C K I N G NIGHTMARE of it all is that they would just SIT there and F U C K me telling me I had to be FORCED to ete -- that ti wasn't even Ok for me to RESPECT MYSELF AND NOT ETE


    i will be getting sober fude today but it is still RAPE

    god d a m n it f u c k I mean why is life so miserable? This is such a trap of helplessness. This is such a terrifying MISERY . To sit here COMPULSED to ete, and UNABLE to honor myself by refraining from eting.
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    • Re: Mon.3/25: Compulsed to Eat, Though Eating IS NOT OK WITH ME   by  Tena Cious     9 y     1,188
      People need to eat for f*** SAKE, LAURAY. Enjoy your f***ING food ok??? Its awesome and its out there for you to enjoy. Do your fast and move on in eating healthy and plenty.
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    • Re: Mon.3/25: Compulsed to Eat, Though Eating IS NOT OK WITH ME   by  rainy3     9 y     1,059
      Hi Dear Lauray,

      I'm happy to see you back on Curezone expressing yourself. Your honesty is very impressive although we both know that some can't handle it.

      It is painful for me to see you in so much pain, hurt and abuse. I have a burden for you and I fell asleep praying for you the other night. I see by one of your blog posts that you have turned to prayer. I also believe in the power of prayer. I know that the power of it is much magnified when fasting is added to it.

      I am going to give you a link to a video that I think may help you. I realize that a lot of people are cursing you which is adding to your problems. I see you are also cursing yourself which is also making your problems worse. This video tells how people turned their situations around by blessing instead of cursing. There is more power in our words that we realize.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2335TH666l8


      Again, I feel for you. I was also rejected by the water fasting forum back in 2008. It was also very painful for me. Many of them were totally blind to my situation. I have received great benefits from fasting. This includes health benefits and spiritual benefits. I know not to look to them for support. Why would I want the blind to lead me? Sometimes I do read it for fasting information as there is some good information in there. I even post in the forum now and then, but I can't ever imagine going in there looking for them to support me. The support is just not there for me. I also do short fasts and about a year ago I made it just hours short of the ten day mark on a water-only fast. That was a breakthrough for me.

      Having said all of this, I want you to know that I am really not religious. I don't even go to church, but I do have a strong belief in God. I believe that Jesus is the only way and that true deliverance can only be achieved by the power of His blood sacrificed for us and in His name. I know there is a lot of power in the name of Jesus and in His shed blood.

      I know a lot of ministers and people (Christians and so-called Christians) have given Jesus a bad name. That is one of the reasons I turned from it when I was young and became an agnostic. Several years later, after living for the devil for years, His mercy drew me back and revealed to me that Jesus is for real and the Bible is true. I decided that I am not going to lose my soul over other people's Christian ignorance and abuse. They twist the scriptures to serve their own purposes. Many of them aren't even true themselves. I started seeking God on my own. He has met me. I fellowship with Christian friends at this point when I have time, but I do not go to church. Maybe some day when I am strong enough the Lord will lead me back into a church. I am not there yet.

      I hope you listen to the video. I hope it blesses you. I want nothing but the best for you.

      Love,
      Rainy
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      • Re: Mon.3/25: Compulsed to Eat, Though Eating IS NOT OK WITH ME   by  Tena Cious     9 y     1,197
        Most of your message I agree with and I am glad there are people like you that care about lauray. She really has some problems, I know because I have been in lighter realms of darkness myself and that way of writing depicts it clearly. Its almost like being posseses isnt it. That need to curse and shit on God himself. Indeed, the water fasting forum seems to have zero to do with support. I see no point in going there for support. I look for info.

        But thats a lot of blood, rainy. Truly, if you had advanced spiritually you would know religions are archonic farces, mental cages to led us astray and make us direct energy to the reptilian and the archons. Praying its cool as long as you dont direct your energy to them trough fake figures like Yah or Jesus/Khrisna. Dont say Amen either it means Amon-Ra...
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        • Re: Mon.3/25: Compulsed to Eat, Though Eating IS NOT OK WITH ME   by  rainy3     9 y     1,020
          I don't claim to have advanced spirituality. I don't claim to be religious either. I do not seek to be religious. I do not seek a religion. I seek God. I have a long way to go and I do know that. I do believe that Jesus is the only way to true deliverance. I also believe that Jesus is the only way to eternal life. I will not deny that. I also respect everyone's right to their own beliefs.
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          • Re: Mon.3/25: Compulsed to Eat, Though Eating IS NOT OK WITH ME   by  Tena Cious     9 y     1,030
            Congratulations, you are being cheated by the psy-ops of chirstianity. Enjoy your slavery.

            PD: Jesus its not good. He is the son of Jeovah, the bloody one, according to the bible of course. AT leat THAT jesus its not good, the one of the Bible. Who knows who he was in reality and if he was called Jesus.
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            • Re: Mon.3/25: Compulsed to Eat, Though Eating IS NOT OK WITH ME   by  rainy3     9 y     1,093     2 of 2 (100%)
              Matthew 11:29-30
              New King James Version (NKJV)
              29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
              -----------------------------------------------------------

              I love being a slave to Jesus. His yoke is easy. It brings rest from all the crazy cares of life. Slavery to Jesus brings true freedom. Jesus loves me with a true and pure love. His presence in my life brings joy unspeakable.

              I'm not being cheated by anybody. Jesus is a real person who is alive today. Jesus is real to me. He will make Himself real to anybody who seeks Him hard enough. I don't listen to the psychos of Christianity and there are many of them. I seek the real Jesus for myself. Too many are using Jesus for self-gain. I choose not to listen to them. They do not own Jesus, but they would like to make us think that they do. We are all free to seek Jesus on our own.
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            • Re: Mon.3/25: Compulsed to Eat, Though Eating IS NOT OK WITH ME   by  rainy3     9 y     1,365     1 of 1 (100%)

              Matthew 11:28-29

              King James Version (KJV)

              28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

              29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

              This promise is available to anyone willing to come to Christ Jesus.
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