I've been Lonely Too

Dear Mary,

I know it feels bad. I've been so depressed sometimes...I really don't know why I'm still alive. Actually, God always provided for me, although I didn't always recognize that provision or thank Him for it.

I cannot claim to have an answer that will make everything all better for you overnight. I, too, have a dysfunctional family. I'd rather not go into all the sordid details, but I will say that my childhood was very hurtful and chaotic and unusual. I attended many schools growing up. I never learned how to make lasting relationships. If I ever had any problems with people, I could just wait a few months and my family would be gone again. Problem solved. NOT.

After so many years, I still struggle to make lasting relationships with people. Both my parents live in different states. They've been separated since I was two. My sister doesn't speak to me. She has severe mental problems related, I believe, to our childhood. We had no ANCHOR, nothing to hold onto.

It would be so easy to blame God for my woes. But having felt His deep, deep love, I know that He would not have chosen this life for me. But He has used my wretched life to teach me and form me into someone who more closely resembles the person He desires for me to become.

It's not easy, Mary. Just remember, when it gets so bad that you can't handle it, He's right there to take your burden from you, if only you will give it to Him.

No person can handle it on their own. We need the love of Jesus to buoy us up from the inside. Then we can go on for another minute, or another second, if it comes to that. And we can rest in Him.

Lord, please give Mary peace and rest tonight. Give her strength. Bring her the answers she needs. Touch her broken body and bring healing to her.
In Jesus' Name.

Please don't give up.
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