how to heal a broken heart

we have decided to get a divorce, it hurts like hell, I cannot begin to describe how much I miss my family. I am trying my hardest to get over everything and just love my kids and move forward with my life. My wife seems to be doing very good at that she has moved on very well, she has placed her kids secondary to her party lifestyle and that hurts just as much to know that her family has fell apart (we were a very happy family and was living comfortable with a bright future for us and our kids) My kids are very effected by our decision to get a divorce. It hit me hard when I was watching finding nemo with my kids and my daughter broke out in tears and told me to turn it off.

Every weekend my ex wife calls me asking me if I can have the kids on Friday or Saturday night so that she can go out. I get really upset when she does that. For one why do I have to know when she is going out? It's like she wants me to know that she is seen someone and that hurts ( for whatever reasons)

The divorce is effecting my job, I find that I am much more angry and mean to others, not focus on anything!!
not interested in anyone, I hang out a lot and drink so I can sleep. If I don't drink all I do is toss and turn all night.

I know letting go of the past is the key and I know we can never be together, I am very depressed living in an apartment by myself when I have two beautiful kids. I grew up without a father and my mother was there for part of my life.

I want to love my kids and be there for my kids but I don't want to see my ex wife.

she forced me to have a vasectomy and in the end she said to me she knew that we are on different levels and I had her four years too long.... so she knew she didn't want me why cut off my future to ever have a family again and then she doesn't want to give the kids to me. She wants to be single then give the kids to me and go live your single life. I want the family life give me my kids!! Tweet