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Manic Monday
buying food for my challenge, goodbye to cooked food (forever if I can help it) exercise and cleaning
Date: 3/28/2005 3:00:32 PM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 1526 times Today is Monday. My kitchen is getting clean but I'm going about it in a very haphazard way. At least it is something to occupy my mind. I am not in a happy mood today. I usually don't engage in fanatical thoughts BUT I have to say that Victoria Boutenko and David Wolfe are right. Cooked food is an addiction and it is poison... POISON. At least it is for me. I speak about myself personally and am not condemning anyone who eats cooked food. There's no doubt that the reason I feel like shit today is because of the cooked food I've been eating. I also have some spotting again and it's not healthy looking period blood either. I snapped at my mom today and am cranky.
To me being on raw and then going back to cooked food is like going to heaven then going to hell. I have to start repeating the mantra that helped me be successful in the first place... that is I INTEND TO BE RAW AND LIVE THE RAW FOOD LIFESTYLE. I felt so sensitive to the cosmic power of the universe, very psychically tuned into the many sides of this existence.
Eating cooked food and being in these surroundings, I am vibrating at the level of everyone else. I am eating things that are not helping me advance towards my goal of shedding this body and mentality and being the person I've always wanted to be.
I emotionally shut down when I was sexually abused and am now only beginning to recover. I should not be so hard on myself but I must conquer this addiction.
I am driven to distraction while eating cooked food, not taking care of myself. I have a hard time focusing and remembering things. These are the things I experience while eating cooked food and not meditating.
So I wrote down a contract with myself, 'A Contract with Ren' so to speak that I am going to bathe and prayer and meditation. I am glad there is a God indeed. If there wasn't I would be dead left to my own devices.
I INTEND TO BE HEALTHY. I INTEND TO STAY ON THE PATH OF UNCOVERING THE STARCHILD WITHIN. I INTEND TO LIVE THE RAWFOOD LIFESTYLE.
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