busy day today which was good, I was feeling like being productive again and all the activity was great to tire me out and shift me out of a few days depression I definatley don't want to be in 

Picked up my car from the other side of the universe (Altona Meadows) today and running like a charm again, and went to 2 health food stores in search of Ed's incredible Kefir but will have to make one more pilgrimage out there because he's away on holidays - had a nice catch up with his co-worker Belinda and shop then went to The Needle to help finish stacking all the hard rubbish and do some weeding - Chris did an awesome day in the garden, mowing the whole place and lots of weeding, was really a big imporvement we've made there the last few weeks and more to come with a re-vamped outside area coming and we also need to put in a water filter for the fish pond, its just too murky and would be much nicer to see the fish 

last night we made strides, applying for the Valda Twaddle Whitehorse Grant for Eugene and writing letters to Jon and Hollis and Warren Burt - so its been very productive, got my nice chrissy presents in the mail - a pulse metronome and a really fancy aussie hairdryer much nicer than any I've ever owned - made a big difference whoa - bought some fancy drinking chocolate and gelatin and am burrowing back down into my prolonged fast after a small meal I had again 2 days ago when I felt super flat and slowly ate a burger for the first time early december when I had half a one last time.  that went down really well which was good because I was a bit concerned it might feel bad late at night but no such thing - I also had a small tiny can of flavored tuna and a bit of popcorn the following day - so I ate a little and have gone back to the more full fast but today I also had a tiny can of flavored tuna - I might transition a little like that now that its after 50 days and try and increase the intermittant window most days and if I feel like something solid during the small caloric window have a tin of tuna or a mango or handful of blackberries or something - I have a small cup or half cup of campbells soup sometimes also but other than this its all just kefir, coffee, herbal tea mainly - with the odd kombucha, kefir popsicle and now doing infused fruit waters and sparkling waters 

its kept it interesting and changed the drinks and flavors enough to keep pace with the weather and the length of this fast - I still have a way to go to achieve the flat belly I want, the rest of me is looking pretty damn healthy and good but thats the stubborn hard bit and the only thing I think to sort it is to keep going through Jan and increase my physical activity - the weather is challenging and so have been my emotions - getting so down about that love interest and him being on my mind and tormenting my spirit with all his holiday messaging when I'm not talking to him and had pushed all that away, it brought it back to the surface and hard enough being alone for all those holidays with no family or close people and really isolated then having him just hound me with so many messages when of course I miss him heaps and long for him but have cast that aside now because he's a sick guy who for whatever messed up reasons is deadset against us being together or having any real happiness and things becoming purposeful so why does he keep hounding me - its beyond stupid and cruel really.  

It's just turning 9 o clock and I'm trying to finish up my calorie wondow early tonight, bed early also as I'm tired from a big day but the really nice and not very sweet at all dark cocoa I made is a bit too hot to finish by 9 so maybe it will be 9:15 - still and hour and 15 mins earlier then the 10:30 stop I was doing before - was great today I'm finding this fast that the intermittant window is easy to do and get used to and also to extend many days well into the afternoon - really enjoying my black coffee of a morning and some days I have a bit more sweet drinks with sugar or condensed milk some days I have less - depends on the day - my caloric intake is very low most days ceratinly all this is in the weight burning zone - I might make some jellies and junket again also it really depends on the weather 

Well - I do feel better tonight, dealing with my emotions better and glad I worked hard and did get busy again - work will set you free lol - sometimes it truly does 

mmmm this cocoa is sensational - Monsuier Truffle - it was pricey but worth it - dark chocolate low sugar quality chocolate wow - nice treat before bed and really dark flavorful 

think this will put me to sleep with a Sufi teaching

Goodnight everyone 

Add This Entry To Your CureZone Favorites!