Day 4 Afternoon

Am I high on water?

Date:   3/30/2006 2:46:44 PM   ( 18 y ) ... viewed 1819 times

Clarity has kicked in. I think clarity is when the mind empties and cannot focus on anything. Also, suddenly instead of tired I feel jittery and exciteable. Wired even. Talking a mile a minute, but cannot stay with anything for more than a few seconds. Nutsy, eh? I think I sedate myself with food a lot. Didn't used to. I put on about 60 pounds three years ago going through incredible life changing stress. I'm a skinny person in a fat body. I didn't even know I could get fat until then. When I got lysteria and a parasite infection it changed how my digestive system acts permanently, I think. Even after cleanses, fasting, and killing the parasites (quite its own adventure) if anything is going to affect me it affects my stomach/bowels. Have you noticed everyone has some weak system? My best friend, its her throat/lungs. Just an observation I have made over the years.

Went and bought some organic unsulphured molasses and some more organic limes for tonic. Trying out the molasses take later. Almost dry fasted today, may do that from sundown tonight to sundown tomorrow.

I don't make a lot of commitments about what I will do while cleansing. That way I never fail myself. Some people are really goal oriented. My goal is just to cleanse, pay attention to my body, and grow. I also find that self-talk makes a huge difference when cleansing or fasting. I talk to my flesh, sometimes out loud, sometimes an internal dialogue (like during yoga). I tell my body it is fine, that it can eat later, that it has permission to utilize stored fat, that it will make it through burning off toxins. I am a firm believer in giving myself permission or denying it. Keeps me more conscious of what I am doing. I think about things in terms of allowing or disallowing, with all sorts of circumstances, including eating. I know depression is setting in if I check out with food.

Going to drink a large mug of watered down organic free range chicken broth with extra grey salt. Craving salt and water.


BTW I am so daft right now I mislabeled this day 3 and had to edit it to correct.

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