Up and down, and up and down!!!

Did I tell you, I havent got a computer at home, I usualy write in my journal and transfer on curezone when I have a chance or should I say when I make it happen! Those words I wrote late at night on sunday.

Welcome to another day in paradise!

To say so may be pushing it a little but still, I am feeling so much better then I did on my last post. I'm watching my cat:Prince Sasha. His mischievous grin is filling my heart with delights! He's my Guru!

This last week has been a scary one. A big drop, especially after the positive energy I've been blessed with recently. Some 7 days ago I crashed into another one of those lethargic "coma". Whenever I go down that road I feel robbed of any vitality. Everything become boring and pointless. Any amount of self confidence I may have goes right out of the window...straight to China on the other side of the world!

Then, unfortunately for my peace of mind, "Fat Cow" and "Lazy Bitch" become Mantras of choice. I just cannot get them out of my head. I often sleep around the clock, am invaded with agressive cravings, stare into space and waste energy on all these Could\Should\Would\What ifs...

Saturday night, my friend Christine invited me for dinner at her place. I fas feeling like such an atrocious sight, I COULD NOT GO! "No problem" she says, "just come up anytime if you change your mind" She was NOT being indifferent but understanding, just what I needed right then. To my own surprise, 10 minutes later I knocked at her door sporting one of my unglamorous Pjays! What a relief to be out. She has such a way to make me feel like a royal guess every time I visit. For that I am grateful.

Sunday morning she made sure to wake me, we had coffe. Again, the clouds were clearing. We even had some good laughts. Feeling more productive I spent the afternoon doing house work, sorting piles of paperwork, paid my bills, had a shower, a walk...wow.

Now it is a new week, a chance for a fresh start. Next monday, on the 24th I'll be starting the ED hospital programm. Not sure I will be eating much till then, I got into my stubborn stubborn mind to fast until I do get in . Big warning, recipe for disaster I'm aware of it...Dont know, it might be like a drunk, willing to get sober but still badly wants that last drink before to surrender to the AA!

Must go for now but will be back, got an award winning episode to share with you!! (helps to dedramatize!)

Take care* Sophie* Tweet