crazy week-end!

hello all..hope u are well and happy!

On my part, today was an active and productive one. For a few days now i've been busy(and thats a good thing for me) helping a friend to oganize a memorial service for her husband. He passed away 3 weeks ago, had some funeral in Greece, his homeland but nothing over here in TO.

I found myself being in charge of the buffet while she was working on her speech and organizing the house. So I have been doing tons of sandwiches, wraps, canapes of all sorts and various deserts. Dipping the strawberries in chocolate was the best part.Being around all that food was surely overwhelming but not as stressful as I would have thought. well there was people around, so I felt safe.I only nibbled on cherry tomatoes, luv thoses.

The event went perfectly well this afternoon...had a glass of wine, it was all good. Im finding myself getting back in touch with my social self. For once I was groomed and dressed up! A big thing for me since Ive been in my pyjamas for months now!
Feeling so useful and incharge gave me some confidance, she kept thanking me for my help and I kept replying that that is exactly what I needed...do something for somebody else, get out of my head and my appartment!
Chatting with all those strangers was not the end of the world at all. A few weeks ago I never would have thought I could do so well.
I can risk to state that the Depression is lifting and Im gonna stick with the meds.All these food and body issues are still as strong as ever and part of my reality but as im getting my power back it is easier to face them.

As I left the "party" the obvious way for me to unwind and clear my mind after such efforts was to go home, lock the door and binge. well thats what I do...so instead I came here, to the net cafe. This ritual may have served a purpose for a certain time but now I only get misery out of it.and misery Ive had enough of.

Im real proud to say that today I didnt give in even if the urge was getting so strong. I am now willing to keep working, every new day that comes toward my present goal: FREEDOM! yes, freedom from bulimia, freedom from depression, freedom from anxiety and paralysing fears.FREEDOM.

.. and that what I also wish for u all...

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