strawberries or breakdown?

This morning I woke up feeling really worried...scanning my thoughts, I was looking for the reason of my concern...most of my bills are paid,no stressful appointment today and as far as I know, global warming isnt gonna come to its worst today...

still, the dread, Im feeling lethargic, my head is heavy, my movements are slow, as if I was walking in water.

After a black coffe I realise that this uneasiness most b comming from last night's fear. I went to sleep fearing that this short respite was only a tease. I havent experienced a full 24h without a binge for a long time...and if I did I had to hide under my duvet and fight fight the craving until I exploded.

I see yesterday as a golden day! (and in my former life I would probably have seen it as a dead boring one!)

Yesterday I could open the front door without panic, I was outside and chat with my neibourgs. I walked a little and ate brocoli and avocado salad. I tasted the food, welcomed it.

Now what? Can I trust that I can make it happen again?

Well I had some stawberries...and Im working on stopping to bargain a few mouthfull of this or that for a day of fast...cos the technique is not working! far from it. Havent been able to commit to a real fast lately and as you may know the drill the situation often turn into catastrophy...deception, misery, frustration...

If Id say I will never fast again it would b the biggest lie...but now is not the best time to fast IF I want to heal. It took me months to b abble to say that!!!)

doesnt mean its a done thing but at least Ive said it, I feel it and Im quite proud!

bless you guys! tell me about u! Sof* Tweet