Aaahhh, the view from a child's eyes..........

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know the cat was dead?" she asked him.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," the child replied innocently.
"You did WHAT?!!!" the teacher exclaimed.
"You know, " the boy explained. "I leaned over and went 'Psssstt in its ear
and it didn't move."

During the Sunday morning service, it was time for the children to come
forward to the front of the church. One little girl was wearing an especially
pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pasted leaned over to her and said,
"That's a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?"
The little girl turned to the pastor and replied, directly into the pastor's
clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my mom says it's a bixxh to iron."

As the mother passed her little son, who sat at the table doing his math
homework and mumbling to himself, she was shocked to hear him say,
"Two plus two, that son-of-a-xxxxx is four. Three plus 4, that son-of-a-xxxxx
is seven....."
"Just what do you think you're doing, Billy !" she demanded angrily.
"I'm doing my math homework, mom," he replied.
"And is this how your teacher taught you to do it ?" asked the mother.
"Yes, mom," the child answered.
Infuriated, the mother stormed in to see the teacher the very next day.
"What on earth are you teaching my son in math?" the mother demanded.
"Well, just now we're learning addition," was the teacher's answer.
The mother asked "And are you teaching them to say that two plus two,
that son-of-a-xxxxx is four?"
After the teacher had stopped laughing and had composed herself, she said,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

One day, the 1st grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to
her class. When she came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer,
she read, ".......and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said,
"The sky is falling, the sky is falling !" The teacher then asked her class,
"And what do you think the farmer said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said,
" I think he said, "Holy crxxp ! A talking chicken !!!"
The teacher was unable to read any further for the next 10 minutes.
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