Re: Still do not want to...
Hi! So long as you are dedicated, you can beat this. I know it's hard to concentrate, your mind is starved of nutrition (calories, vitamins and minerals) so you can't think properly right now. The best thing to do is to use food as your medicine to get better. Food and calories are necessary to keep your body warm, to help you grow hair, and to help you think. Without calories, your body can not perform these basic functions, and you will eventually die from anorexia.
You will NOT get fat from eating. Your body needs calories just to keep warm and to give your body energy to keep your organs (like your heart) functioning. If you don't get enough calories even for that, you will experience heart pains, coldness and your hair will fall out. You probably have fine little hairs growing on the sides on your face and on your back now - that's part of your body's desperate attempt to keep you warm. They will fall off again once your body is able to keep itself warm normally.
Food is HEALTHY and IMPORTANT. It does not makes you fat, healthy foods make you healthy and strong. If you want to get out of that hospital, and be happy and strong, you must feed your body and give it the vitamins and minerals it needs.
Best of luck :)