Re-Post of message below:

This is a post by SoulfulSurvivor which was in response to a post.   The original post has gone to meet the great spam wastebasket in the sky, but SS's post is worth saving grace:     :-)

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A healthy sex-drive is wonderful, delightful, and mystical! But, (again) there is a vast difference between having a healthy sex-drive and being addicted to p 0 r nography, crack cocaine, tobacco, gambling, abuse, power...addiction is just that: addiction.

I mentioned in a previous post that the majority of the women who have posted on discussion forums disclosed that their partners' addiction to p 0 r n was in addition to other abusive and/or self-destructive behaviors. And, that's not to say that anyone who views p 0 r n is addicted or abusive, but there is a growing industry of mental health professionals who are catering to the p 0 r n-addicted. It's an uphill battle to fight any addiction, much less an addiction that is based upon immediate self-gratification.

The most unfortunate thing that I've learned about p 0 r n (aside from the male-dominant industry standards) is that it has replaced true sexual intimacy. Where once women and men would actually seek different techniques to please one another, and themselves, there is no longer any need for foreplay, tenderness, or genuine affection. Pop up the computer screen and there's instant (INSTANT) turn-on. No more need for partners to strip-tease, or anything else.

The original message suggested that it is the fault of female partners that their significant others or spouses turn to p 0 r nography. In my case, my ex was addicted to perversion (not just p 0 r n, but perversions) before I ever met him - this was an underlying symptom of his hatred of women and many other abusive issues. And, yes, I married him without knowing him well enough, which was my responsibility and I paid for it, dearly. However, the p 0 r n was only a precursor to an even greater extent of abuse. I had never been exposed to p 0 r nography until I married my ex. And, I wasn't able (or, WILLING) to do some of the things that he demanded from me.

I don't wish to start, or become involved with, a debate on the attributes or acceptability of p 0 r nography - it's been around since human beings began scratching images on cave walls. My only point is that there is "reasonable" and, then there is "addicted." "Addicted" has nothing to do with the female partner's sex-drive - it's just a symptom of broader issues.


Best wishes.