On my 2nd day

Yesterday was a busy day for me. I worked both my jobs so I didn't have a lot of time for myself but think about various things, especially my boyfriend and how he was doing. I tried praying doing the non-mental taxing times of the day. I had one really uplifting experience around 10:30 a.m. When I was praying as I was walking on my errands from the office. I asked God to fill me with his holy spirit and work through me. I was feeling really down trodden and my mind started worrying about how I am going to be able to see my dearheart on a regularly basis with both of my jobs and if he wanted to see me again. On our date on Saturday, he caught me several times not really pay attention to him when he spoke and it was very embarrassing to me as well I interrupted him several times out of excitement. He mentioned it and I was worrying about it. I know that type of thinking is destructive to my confidence in myself as well as bad for my soul, so yesterday I asked God to ease this worry and let his Glory shine within and drive out all the horrible characteristics that are plaguing me: Uncertainty, fear of my heart being crushed again, lack of self confidence, not being able to focus on the task at hand. It was soon after that simple prayer that I was filled with such happiness that I wanted to dance all the way back to the office. All I could do is tell God thank you for His intersession to my prayer. It was so lovely that it is indescribable.

I drank about 80 ounces of water yesterday total. I was going to have a sip of V8 juice to help, but I didn't and the can of it is still in the refrigerator unopened.

I will be looking to see if my face will be clearing up. I have two blemishes on my face. One at the side of my mouth that I have been messing that was almost healed on Saturday, but started messing with it late Sunday for some reason. Nervousness? My other one is a dry spot on the side of my nose that I scratched and the skin started peeling. I rubbed some castor oil on this this morning to help moisture the dry spot so I won't pick at it. I have noticed that my scalp is really dry and itchy as well. I hope introducing more water into my body will help balance out what ever is unbalanced in my body. I know I haven't been washing my hair a lot to dry it out. I think it is the season for dry scalp because I get this every year around this time.

I weighed myself this morning and I weighed 123 lbs. I wanted to measure my waist to see what it was but I can't find my measuring tape anywhere. I was wondering as I looked at my body if any guy could like that little pouch of fat that sits at the sight of my belly button. It is my college fat and I graduated in 2000 so I should have been long gone, but it is not. I would like to try and work it off since it is dangerous to have a lot of fat in that area – signals heart disease which is very prominent in my family.

I went to bed early last night because I was aching. I was thinking about pulling out that children's rhyming Bible and reading a bit of that as well as my Bible, but I fell asleep before I could do it. A text message from P. woke me up around 1:00 am as he told me Good night and he loved me. I text him back wishing him sweet dreams. I then snuggled back into my pillows thinking about how much I care about him and went back to sleep.

I know that I will be tempted today to want to eat something. I know that I have to re-route my activities during those times that I usually would be eating – like lunch. I think I will go to St. Mary's during my lunch today and do some praying. I have a lot on my mind right now and talking to God always helps me.

Tonight I am going to try and get some chores done and sit down and take a look at my finances to see how much I can forward toward that past debt -medical bills that have been burdening me. I will sit down and redo my budget and pray over it hopefully allowing me to become a better steward with the money that God puts in my hands.

I hope I make past day two of my fast with out failing. I know if I do, God will help me learn from it and I will just start again.