New Element discovered

NEW ELEMENT FOUND



The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the
existence of

a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.



The new element has been named Governmentium.



Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88
deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 312.



These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons.



Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can
be

detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into

contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take over four days to complete.



Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass
will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.



This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element
which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons.
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