Re: trying to get pregnant for more than 2 months.. but no success :(

Hi,

The book the guy mentioned in the previous post is excellent - "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". This is a great resource. As far as frequency, I believe that sometimes it is said every other day is good so that you have chance to store up a nice bit of sperm. But I am sure many young couples do it everyday and plenty of babies are conceived.

Don't put too much pressure on yourselves. I know it can be really difficult after a miscarriage because you accepted in your mind already that there would be a baby and then that happened. Before having my son, I miscarried at almost 5 months. I had to actually birth the baby and it was devastating. But I have grown from the experience and have realized that most doctors do not know squat about normal physiological processes. Had I been given really good information, my baby might have survived. Afterward I had to find out why on my own because they wouldn't tell me or the idiots didn't know. But that's another story.

Let me just tell you one thing. Usually an early loss like you had is due to something not being exactly right with the fetus. Second trimester losses are more commonly because of a problem with the mother (either an incompetent cervix or that she does not have enough of the right hormones to maintain the pregnancy). Nature gets rid of something that didn't happen exactly right. If a women has enough babies, miscarriage is pretty common. It does not mean that it will happen again. I have never heard that someone should refrain from sex during the first trimester unless there was already a known problem that would prevent her from having sex. Most of the pregnant women I know are pretty hot-blooded! A normal fetus in a normal mother is just not likely to miscarry from normal sex. You may have to be more gentle but I believe that your wife will guide you as to what is comfortable.

Here's a tip your wife will like - after you ejaculate in her, bring her to orgasm. The contraction of muscles will help bring the sperm to the right place!

I also hope you will both consider a natural birth for your baby in a humane place where whomever is assisting with the birth respects your wife and her body. I would suggest reading some books by Dr. Michel Odent, Sheila Kitzinger or any other about Natural or Gentle Birthing. It does not sound like your wife's doctor is the sharpest knife in the drawer.

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