New pet owners, need your feedback.............

Ok, first off, a bit of history. Hubby and I are thinking of adopting a rescue dog, who is currently in a no-kill shelter. We went to see her today, played with her, etc. and we really like her. Last year, we adopted a puppy and ended up having to give her back, because back then we thought I was allergic to her. But I have never EVER been allergic to any kind of dog in my life. I have grown up with dogs since I was a baby, go to friends house who have dogs of all different kinds of breeds, i.e. long hair, short hair, yard dogs, indoor doogs, etc. Our family dogs have always slept with us on our beds, we have our faces in their fur, etc., no problem. However, this was always a family dog, or another family's dog, never my own personal dog that I am responsible for. So last year when we adopted the puppy, I was not working at the time, but planned on going back to work after she was potty trained and could be ok alone for a few hours. But things just seemed to be out of control. Because we spend a lot of time with my family, it was imperative that she get along with the family dog. The family dog is older 10 or so, and not really up to having a puppy in her face all the time, nipping at her, biting her ears, etc. So needless to say, that did not go over well and she nipped at the puppy several times and acted terrified every time the puppy was around. The puppy, being a puppy of courses would constantly bite us, chew on our fingers, furniture, etc. and at that time, hubby and I were staying with my parents, while our apt. was being fixed up. I also felt like she didn't really bond with me, but that could have been my imagination. The funny thing is, the first time I went to see her at the rescue place, held her, put my face in hers, no problem. Then, once we got her and I started stressing about how we were going to do this realistically, I started noticing what I can only call phantom allergies coming on. I had a slight runny nose, and swollen eyes. I thought that maybe it was something on her hair that set me off, but she was clean, so I couldn't understand what it was. We ended up giving her back to the foundation, as they said they had 5 other people who did want her and it was ok for us to do so. That day was horrible. Both hubby and I cried like a baby. Looking back, I think I was stressing so much about not being able to take care of her properly, be a good mom, handle the stress of raising a puppy, etc. Could I have brought those symptoms on psychologically? Hubby thinks I did and I wonder if I could have also.

Fast forward to present day. We go to see this dog, just under a year old, and we are glad she is older, since she's past the chewing stage, etc. Poor thing was so thin and dirty and needed a bath desperately, but she was very affectionate and we could tell with some TLC, she would be right as rain in no time. Ok, but here is where it happens. As we are there, I feel those old fears creeping in (have a long past history of anxiety disorder - over with a long time ago), and I hear that little voice in the back of my mind saying, "you're not going to be a good enough mom, she won't warm to you, don't get too attached, etc., etc." and an hour after we left her and I was sitting at work, I started noticing my nose tingling a little and slightly running, however we did have bad winds here today and I'm thinking, this is crazy! I know the nose thing is BS, as another few minutes have passed and it's almost not even there. What is wrong with me? It's not for the lack of wanting a dog, we both want one desperately. I adore animals and if I could, would have a massive yard so that I could have a ton of them. Can anyone tell me if this is a normal reaction to fear and though it's not exactly the same, did anyone women here have a simliar reaction when they found out they were pregnant (hence being responsible for helpless life, etc.). I have been under some more stress than usual, so maybe that is adding to the anxiety of my worries. We really want this little angel and I don't want to screw it up again. Thanks.

Kir