Re: Completed & Utterly Heartbroken How do I pick up the pieces all by myself?

Hi 40885. You have been coming to us for advice on your relationship with this person for many months now. I think your greatest problem is refusing to accept the reality of your situation. Your boyfrined and you have completely different cultural mindsets, and althought there might have been a strong attraction at first towards the opposite in each other, that does wear out and people are usually looking in another for what is comfortable and familiar.
If I were in your situation, I would count my losses and gracefully exit the picture. There is now too much negative energy floating around and too many mismatched loose ends that will never make connections, You have both given in time and time again out of...oh, who knows? habit? convenience? guilt? But these things are not the genuine glue to hold a relatonship together.
As hard as it is to accept, you need to let go for good. You don't need to be vindictive, just stop providing opposition and see your personal journey starting off on a new road.
It may feel like the end of the world now, but it's not. You gained growth and insight, cherish those, and then move on to see what else life has out there for you to learn.
By the way, if you choose to continue along trying to make things work with him, I fear you will set yourself up for him just abandoning you, which will feel a whole lot worse. Make your move while you still feel some control over yourself.