thanks for the responses. both sound right to me.
i've realized now that there are deeper issues involved that are not even mine. yet i'm in a way dealing with them. but what i realize is í can't do the work for someone else...
it takes time to get rid of old habbits and i just need to practice being more patient and detached when it comes to it.
as far as a partnership goes i think a relationship/friendship would be best to start with...and see where it goes. i think we jumped into an 'ideal' too fast.