Baby mama drama. How do you deal with it?

My boyfriend and I love each other very much. He wants to marry me and have a family, but I can't seem to get over the fact that he has a child with an ex-girlfriend. He has told me how he was happy when he found out she was pregnant, how they were going to get married, and he is a very devoted father to their five year old son. It hurts me to know this and to realize even if I do have his children someday, someone else will always be the mother of his first child. I love him very much but I can't stop these nagging feelings from getting in the way. I can't stand the thought of him being so close with another woman, doing all those things that he should have done with ME, with his wife. He let her have the privilege he should have saved for me. I know he didn't know me then, but how could he have wanted to do those things with someone else? I haven't wanted to yet with anyone. I'm saving it for my husband. Why didn't he? I think I have no choice but to end the relationship and find a guy who, like me, has no children. Does anyone else feel this way? My boyfriend thinks I should have gotten over it a long time ago, but I just can't.

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