Does the zapper work??

Hi all.
I've seen the experiments, now I would like individual confirmation of in vivo success. Has anyone here successfully used a zapper to cure anything? I am not looking for third party hearsay, just direct subjective assessments.

I am not looking for posts of the form "there was a guy in here 3 months ago who claimed that his second cousin's hairdresser got rid of her skin complaint when she used a zapper".

But posts of the form "I used a zapper for 3 days and I immediately felt relief of my asthma" are welcome.