How to explain to him that his flirting hurts me?
Hi,
5 months ago I started seeing someone after 2 years of being single. We are the same age (27). Unlike me however, he has never had a serious relationship (My 4 years relationship ended when I found out he was cheating on me).
The problem is that I have observed him (current b.f.) on many occasions flirting with other women (whether they have boyfriends or not). It is never sexual and with seemingly no ill intentions.
He asks them lots of questions, as if he was interviewing them, he looks at them intensely with a big smile, and laughs loudly at the silliest things they say, while yours truly is sitting on the sidelines, getting bored and contemplating an exit plan.
Basically, he has his “I’m single” signs brightly lit.
Later that evening, I nonchalantly said "I've made an interesting observation: When I first met you, you were rather serious and almost.. Standoffish, but now I see you being very friendly and interested with other girls we are introduced to."
He knew exactly what I was talking about (the latest girl). His reply: "Well. Maybe you weren't that funny. I couldn't help but burst laughing at what she said tonight!"
Later, observing that I was very quiet, and then finding out why (he said he had no clue), he swore that his words were not meant to hurt but just came out without thinking. He says that I'm 'emotional' whereas he is 'practical'.
How do I deal with this without being too controlling or allowing myself to be hurt? I hate feeling like this!
Thanks very much for any replies!
juju