Imagine your self in her place.

LETTER FROM IRAQI WOMAN IN BAGHDAD

Posted By: Mailbag
Date: Wednesday, 19 November 2003, 10:12 p.m.


RMNews: This is posted on blogspot.com -
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Interesting "blog" from a woman living in Baghdad

Please consider posting today's blog from an Iraqi woman (screen-named "River" who posts from
"where the river bends..."). She is currently living in Baghdad with her family... Enjoy her
wonderfully evocative accounts of daily life there at

http://www.riverbendblog.blogspot.com

This blog is the first note of real anger I have noticed recently...

Baghdad Burning

"... I'll meet you 'round the bend my friend, where hearts can heal and souls can mend..."

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Difficult Days...

They've been bombing houses in Tikrit and other areas! Unbelievable... I'm so angry it makes me
want to break something!!!! What the hell is going on?!

What do the Americans think Tikrit is?! Some sort of city of monsters or beasts? The people there
are simple people. Most of them make a living off of their land and their livestock- the rest are
teachers, professors and merchants- they have lives and families. Tikrit is nothing more than a
bunch of low buildings and a palace that was as inaccessible to the Tikrit is as it was to everyone
else!

People in Al Awja suffered as much as anyone, if not more- they weren't all related to Saddam and
even those who were, suffered under his direct relatives. Granted, his bodyguards and others close
to him were from Tikrit, but they aren't currently in Tikrit- the majority have struck up deals
with the CPA and are bargaining for their safety and the safety of their families with information.
The people currently in Tikrit are just ordinary people whose homes and children are as precious to
them as American homes and children are precious to Americans! This is contemptible and everyone
thinks so- Sunnis and Shi'a alike are shaking their heads incredulously.

And NO- I'm not Tikriti- I'm not even from the 'triangle'- but I know simple, decent people who ARE
from there and just the thought that this is being done is so outrageous it makes me want to
scream. How can that *** of a president say things are getting better in Iraq when his troops have
stooped to destroying homes?! Is that a sign that things are getting better? When you destroy
someone's home and detain their family, why would they want to go on with life? Why wouldn't they
want to lob a bomb at some 19-year-old soldier from Missouri?!

The troops were pushing women and children shivering with fear out the door in the middle of the
night. What do you think these children think to themselves- being dragged out of their homes,
having their possessions and houses damaged and burned?! Who do you think is creating the
'terrorists'?!! Do you think these kids think to themselves, "Oh well- we learned our lesson.
That's that. Yay troops!" It's like a vicious, moronic circle and people are outraged.

The troops are claiming that the attacks originate from these areas- the people in the areas claim
the attacks are coming from somewhere else. I really am frightened of what this is going to turn
into. People seem to think that Iraq is broken into zones and areas- ethnically and religiously
divided. That's just not true- the majority of people have relatives all over Iraq. My relatives
extend from Mosul, all the way down to Basrah- we all feel for each other and it makes decent
people crazy to see this happening.

There have also been a string of raids all over Baghdad, but especially in Al-A'adhamiya. They've
detained dozens of people with the excuse that they own more than one weapon. Who owns less than
two weapons? Everyone has at least one Klashnikov and a couple of guns. Every male in the house is
usually armed and sometimes the females are too. It's not because we love turning our homes into
arsenals, but because the situation was so dangerous (and in some areas still is) that no one wants
to take any risks. Imagine the scene: a blue mini-van pulls up 10 dirty, long-haired men clamber
out with Klashnikovs, pistols and grenades and demand all the gold and the kids (for ransom). Now
imagine trying to face them all with a single handgun... if Baghdad were SECURE people would give
up their weapons. I hate having weapons in the house.

I'm so tired. These last few days have been a strain on every single nerve in my body. The
electricity has been out for the last three days and while the weather is pleasant, it really is
depressing.

No one knows why the electricity is out- there are murmurings of storms and damage to generators
and sabotage and punishment... no one knows exactly what's going on.

There are explosions everywhere. Yesterday it was especially heavy. Today there was a huge
explosion that felt like it was nearby but we can't really tell. How do you define a war? This sure
as hell feels like war to me: no electricity, water at a trickle, planes, helicopters and
explosions.

We didn't send the kids to school today. My cousin's wife spent last night talking about horrible
premonitions and it didn't take much to convince my cousin that they would be better off at home.

It's hard for adults without electricity, but it's a torment for the kids. They refuse to leave the
little pool of light provided by the kerosene lamps. We watch them nervously as they flit from
candlelight to lamplight, trying to avoid the dark as much as possible. I have flashes of the
children knocking down a candle, hot, burning wax, flames... I asked the 7-year-old the other night
if she was afraid of 'monsters' when she shied away from a dark room. She looked at me like I was
crazy- monsters are for losers who don't need to fear war, abductions and explosions.

We (5 houses in the neighborhood) all chipped in and bought a generator immediately after the war.
What we do now is 2 houses get enough electricity for some neon lights, a television, a
refrigerator and a freezer. We asked them to 'save our electricity up' and give us a couple of
hours after futtoor and that's how I'm typing now. But my time is almost up and I'm afraid if the e
lectricity goes off suddenly, it'll damage my computer.

E. and I hang out on the roof after futtoor and only duck inside when the helicopters begin
hovering above. We watch the main street from the roof. One of the merchants has a little generator
and he sets up chairs outside of his shop, in front of a small black and white tv. The guys in the
neighborhood all stream towards the lights like ants towards a sticky spot. They sit around
drinking tea, and chatting.

You really can't appreciate light until you look down upon a blackened city and your eyes are
automatically drawn to the pinpoints of brightness provided by generators - - it looks like the
heavens have fallen and the stars are wandering the streets of Baghdad, lost and alone.

I have to go now. Hope the electricity is back tomorrow, at least.

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