Re: No wonder!!!

Ghandi as played by Joe Pesci


Gandhi: So, let's stop fighting, okay? Okay?

British Soldier: Okay, okay, Gandhi. We've been convinced to end colonial rule by your campaign of nonviolence. Hey, Gandhi?

Gandhi: Yeah?

British Soldier: Thanks a lot for being so cooperative. We have brought you a basket of fruit as a peace offering. You need the fruit! You're so skinny.

Gandhi: Yeah? I'm skinny. What does that mean? What are you trying to say?

British Soldier: Hey, Gandhi... a lot of people want to be skinny. Relax. Everyone likes a nice basket of fruit.

Gandhi: You think I'm skinny?

British Soldier: [amicably] Yes, yes! You're skinny, alright? Ha, ha...please, take the basket!

Gandhi: [gets out of chair to approach basket] Well, this is a nice little thing you got me... some fruits, a pineapple... [Gandhi looks pensive, continues to gaze at fruit, picks up apple and drops it back in the basket disinterestedly.] You think I'm skinny?

British Soldier #2: He's only trying to be friendly, Gandhi.

Gandhi: [suddenly approaches British #2] I'm not friendly? I'm a skinny f**kin' grumpy old man to you? Am I not the most famous f**kin' nonviolent figure in the world, you f**k? [Snarls in British #2's face.]

British Soldier: [warding off Gandhi with hands, pleading] Gandhi, Gandhi, come on! This is stupid! Let's just make our peace so we can set an example for the rest of the world, Gandhi. Please, Gandhi? Come on... let's not make a black spot on the history books...

Gandhi: [rage has escalated since the beginning of scene, continues to intensify] I'm stupid? I'm gonna be a black spot on the history books? I'm gonna be a black spot on the f**kin' books? Huh?

Gandhi picks pineapple out of basket and attacks British Soldier's face, gouging chunks of flesh with each connection. Gandhi, red-faced, punctuates the blows with "You... f**k... bah... f**k... cah... f**kin'." British Army watches, stunned.

Gandhi: [panting heavily after killing and overkilling British Soldier, realizes that the other Brits have been looking at the conflict] What the f**k are you looking at. Huh? What the f**k are you f**kin' lookin' aaaat, you f**ks?! You stoopid... [Gandhi smashes wine bottle on on Second Soldier's face.] Haaah?

British Army, visibly frightened, retreats first by backing slowly away, then turning and running.


by Eric Saxon

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