Re: Life....
Your are going through the disillusionment that occurs when part of you awakens to a deeper meaning and perspective of yourself. It is a dying process where the old life, beliefs and values lose their attraction, meaning and purpose. Even a soul experiences darkness, "the dark night of the soul", where the motivation and will to live are minimal and everything else becomes "superficial." The question arises "what is the point of all this?" Happiness is but a fleeting occurrence.
I can tell you that you are not the only one going through this. However bad it appears to be, it has its good purpose behind it, nevertheless. Your old self has to die before your new self can emerge. Like a snake gliding out of its old skin, life doesn't end with shedding the old skin. The collective drama that is unfolding in the world right now adds more pain and challenges to this confusion. The degree of the confusion indicates the degree of inner transformation you are going through. Although there is light at the end of the tunnel, it is best not to see the light while going through the process. To live well one must be able to die well. Don't judge yourself during this time, just accept what is happening. Like when travelling in a train you may not realize how fast you go, but I can ensure you that you are moving quite fast. The world is changing rapidly and is turning upside down, and so are we. I would suggest you read my book, Lifting the Veil of Duality (www.ener-chi.com) It will assist you while going through the changes with greater ease, confidence and knowingness. You will learn the purpose behind what your are going through, which in turn will allow you to make more sense out of your life.
Blessings,
Andreas