A Confession, and Help Needed

I usually post on the diverticulitis page, but am posting here to ask for advice and help. I have really peculiar problem and cant for the life of me shake it.
Besides having chronic diverticulitis, and IBS..I think...I have, over the years gotten myself backed into a corner...meaning..I just cant seem to get myself to go and get the proper tests done so i can have some peace of mind.
I have had a CAT scan when i ended up in an emergency room last July with severe pain and they told me i had diverticulitis of the sigmoid colon. I also have an anal fistula and have been sick sense two weeks before 9/11 2001.
At a follow up visit to a new M.D. he suggested that i have a barium x-ray done to see how bad it was, and if any of the diverticulitis were leaking..I said to him. Why would that be necessary, because they just did a complete CAT of my abdomen? He said that the CAT was only a slice and he needed to see the whole colon..well i read the radiologists report.and they do see the entire colon...
I'm kind of getting off point here..point being that ive gotten into this situation partly because I'm always afraid to go and get tests done..now you might say..well we all are..but for me this has gotten out of hand i think..I'm living in misery most days with IBS, or whatever it is, and have no peace of mind also..but i just cant get myself to go...any suggestions on how to beat this very very very bad phobia?? Tweet