I want to know God, please pray or me

I have been a practicing church person for as long as I can remember. I went to chruch with my family. I even go now with my little ones. THey like I serve on as many committees as they can.

I pray the prayers with my kids at night, I pray all day. BUt in my heart of hearts, I don't feel like I have the erlationship with God that I should.

I know that I have spoken the words for God to come into my life and saved me. I have been baptised. And yet...

I started Monday on a 40 day fast in which time, I hope to grow in my relationship with Christ.

I need to do this and break through some strongholds in my life. I have become lazy, a poor mother, an even poorer wife, fat (277lbs), and bitter.

I don't want to be this way anymore. I want to have the joy of knowing God. I want the peace of having Christ as my personal Savior.
Reposted from the Prayer forum:

I am so used to finding a formula for a problem in my life and applying it.

I know the formula here, but I don't think I am gettting the real experience.

I pray that my heart is not too hardened to God. Nor that I can't escape the strongholds that have me in their grasp.

I want to feel God working in my life and heart. I don't really feel anything for anyone. Notmy husband, children, or anyone. Not even for my self.

What I am asking for is prayer for me that God can penetrate all of this confusion and reach me. That my fast will bring me closer to God. That God can use me.
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