Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The
other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be
able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood
it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves
a big f**king red mark on his forehead. Maybe
next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Sincerely,
Bitchy in Wisconsin