They contridictions are not contridictions but will be made clear sometime. The walk in Christ is like looking at a rug, either from the top or bottom. One side looks a mess the other side looks great. So it is in Christ as He guides into 'all truth.' Believe that Jesus has a plan for your life, some to good some to bad. Remember He himself, loving His Jewish friends, went to His death. He realized that was what the Word said about Himself. So hang in there everthing will be made clear.