I was thinking I should write a short testimony of what is going on with my life.
As some of you know, I have had many troubles this past two years.
Approximately in March, I began praying for deliverance, with some help from my new church.
Now I can see how angry I was, I had bitterness and resentment in my heart, but in some way I had buried those feelings deeply, so I was not able to see clearly.
I have been working on that, through forgiveness, and little by little my anger has been lifting from my heart. The first time I try to forgive, it seemed impossible; I felt the hurt was too big. But by faith I forgave and suddenly the process began and now I can say I have forgiven several people with my heart. I do not feel any hurt or bitterness toward them.
But I still was feeling that there was something wrong. I prayed and prayed until it was revealed to me that I also needed to apologize and try to repair some damage I have done. This seems so obvious now, but the problem was that I always saw myself as a victim, and never considered the consequences of my actions or the need to recognize my responsibility for some disagreements, misunderstandings or arguments I had.
So, I have been sending some letters and e-mails with apologies. On Monday, I sent an e-mail to an old friend of mine, and after that, I felt such a relief. I felt like something was lifting, literally, from my shoulders.
Two friends have sent me notes of appreciation for my apologies and I am so glad now I have been able to do that. I am seeing now how one bad action generates a chain reaction and many people can be hurt for one act of inflexibility, anger or lack of compassion. But I hope God can heal all the wounds and create also a chain reaction of blessings, love and reconciliation.
I wanted to find this teaching in the Bible and I see it is clear Jesus told us to do that. I think now that forgiving, is important of our personal spiritual well being; and apologies are important for others, because they also can forgive if we facilitate the process, and receive healing.
23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
25"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.[d]
14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.