What is really going on here is the two of you need to grow up. You sound very immature.
If you think that smoking pot is the only way to communicate, you are sadly mistaken. Smoking pot will allow you to be a little more laid back and relaxed and I see nothing wrong with that. But, there is a much more serious problem here!!!
The problem is that I see two children who now have a child. It's the child who needs BOTH parents' undivided attention and the two parents seem to be more interested in making themselves happy than raising the child they created together!!