Ladies, listen to Owen!

Owen,

I am so sorry to hear of the death of your little sister and her friends. I've had 3 girlfriends that have contracted breast cancer, 2 survived and so far so good, but 1 isn't doing that great. All of these ladies got it in their 40's. I hate that disease, and all the cancers that rob me of my loved ones.

To the ladies:

I came to this forum today because I just shared "the talk" with my daughter who just got engaged and plans to get married in January. I have 7 beautiful and very much wanted children. I am familiar with most methods of birth control, and let me tell you, most of them will kill you down the road or render you sterile when you do want a baby. Also some of them are abortificants, meaning, you get pregnant and the device/drug destroys the embryo (tiny baby).

There are a few natural and safe ways to plan a pregnancy. All of them take some self-control and understanding from your husband/lover.

I'm sure you know that if you do the thing that makes babies, you are very likely to make a baby. The only 100% sure-fire method to not make a baby is abstinance. So that is option #1. I'll wait while you argue why that's not an option for you.

If you're married, my first question would be "what's wrong with having a baby?" Of course, this question is raised by a woman who loves children and has seven. LOL Seriously, children are wonderful and I highly recommend having a large family. They're not nearly as expensive to raise as people make them out to be. I'm not Catholic or Mormon, either.

The easiest thing to do is for your husband to pop on a condom. It's not the most romantic thing to have to break up the passion, but the things really do work, and it puts some reproductive responsibility on the fellow/potential Dad.

DON'T "do it" a little without protection and then put the condom on. You want a baby? Have unprotected sex.

The things do slip off on rare occassion, so I recommend you do something extra. This is a method recommended by the Couple to Couple League and endorsed by the Catholic Church, I think.

You, the lady, take your oral temp every morning when you wake up, before you get out of bed. Keep the thermometer on your bedside table-with your glasses if you need them to read the thermometer. You mark that temp on a chart every day. You can get an ovulation thermometer at any drugstore and it comes with charts. Or just use a regular one and DIY. When you ovulate, your basal body temp will go up a degree. It stays up till your cycle starts again. You note when you usually ovulate, and in about 6 months you'll see your pattern (of course, you have to have regular cycles for this to work well). You cross off 3 days before you usually ovulate, and 3 days after. Those 7 days are when you are most likely to get pregnant. You don't have relations with your partner during those 7 days. THIS IS HARD! You are forcing yourself to say "no" when your body most wants to say "yes." You have to learn how to be good to each other in other ways.

You will notice some vaginal mucous changes during your cycle. First nothing, then tacky/sticky, then stringy and very slick and clear, then back to tacky, then nothing, then your cycle starts over. Those slick days coincide with your ovulation. That's because your body naturally prepares to accept your husband's sperm when there is an egg ready and waiting to be fertilized.

The fun part of using this method is that when you ARE ready to have a baby, you are aware of your body's signals and can invite your husband for some wonderful times together. LOL

Ladies, don't use the pill, the patch, the shot, the IUD, the diaphram, or spermicide creams. Don't douche afterwards thinking that will do the trick, either (the things I've heard that women try!). Don't go for the morning after pill or anything like that. And if you do get pregnant with an unwanted baby, talk to me before you abort it. I'll find someone to adopt it or I will myself.

I'm not judging anyone, and not trying to make anyone feel guilty. You are in control of your body and your life decisions. I'm offering these birth control methods because this is a health forum, and most people who come here are looking for safe and healthy alternatives. I care about each one of you.

Your doctors are most likely not going to tell you about the risks of the pill. If you pull some of their nurses aside in the hall, they might, but you didn't hear it from them.... The doctors don't tell women the facts, they just prescribe whatever the woman wants. The methods I stated above are not 100% foolproof, except for abstinance. There is NO foolproof birth control method other than "not doing it." Those are the facts, ladies.

Blessings to all of you as you make important life decisions,
-Donna Tweet