Emotinally Damaged

Hello Everyone,
I'm so sorry for your losses. I have a question, have any of the women (Mother's) here gained alot of weight following the death of there child? If so are you still overweight? If not how on earth did you get rid of it?
It's been almost 8 years since My Jordan died and I'm still 90 pounds overweight. Am I punishing myself for his death? I have no reason too? Just trying to heal my emotionally damaged body so I can heal my physical body and try to move on.
Thanks!
Tammy Tweet