Stop! And It Is Here!

The Tree is Hidden in the Seed

The First Question:

The beginning and the end are not two things. The beginning is the end, so don't divide them and don't think in terms of duality. If you want to be silent in the end, you will have to be in silence from the very beginning. In the beginning the silence will be like a seed; in the end it will become a tree. But the tree is hidden in the seed, so the beginning is just the seed.

Whatsoever the ultimate goal, it must be hidden here and now, just in you, in the very beginning. If it is not there in the beginning, you cannot achieve it in the end. Of course, there will be a difference - in the beginning it can only be a seed; in the end it will be the total flowering. You may not be able to recognize it when it is a seed, but it is there whether you recognize it or not. So when Patanjali says non-attachment is needed in the very beginning of the journey, he is not saying that it will not be needed in the end.

Non-attachment in the beginning will be with effort; non-attachment in the end will be spontaneous. In the beginning you will have to be conscious about it; in the end there will be no need to be conscious about it. It will be just your natural flow.

In the beginning you have to practice it. Constant alertness will be needed. A struggle will be there with your past, with your patterns of attachment; fight will be there. In the end there will be no fight, no alternative no choice. You will simply flow in the direction of desirelessness. That would have become your nature.

But, remember, whatsoever is the goal, it has to be practiced from the very beginning. The first step is also the last. So one has to be very careful about the first step. If the first is in the right direction, only then the last will be achieved. If you miss the first step, you have missed all.

This will come again and again to your mind, so understand it deeply because many things Patanjali will say which look like ends. Non-violence is the end - when a person becomes so compassionate, so deeply love-filled, that there is no violence, no possibility of violence. Love or non-violence is the end. Patanjali will say to practice it from the very beginning.

The goal has to be in your view from the very beginning. The first step of the journey must be absolutely devoted to the goal, directed to the goal, moving towards the goal. It cannot be the absolute thing in the beginning, neither Patanjali expects it. You cannot be totally non-attached, but you can try. The very effort will help you.

You will fall many times; you will again and again get attached. And your mind is such that you may even get attached with non-attachment. Your pattern is so unconscious, but effort, conscious effort, by and by will make you alert and aware. And once you start feeling the misery of attachment then there will be less need for the effort, because no one wants to be miserable, no one wants to be unhappy.

We are unhappy because we don't know what we are doing, but the longing in every human being is for happiness. No one longs for misery; everybody creates misery because we don't know what we are doing. Or we may be moving in desires towards happiness, but the pattern of our mind is such that we actually move towards misery.

From the very beginning, a child is born, is brought up, wrong mechanisms are fed in his mind, wrong attitudes are fed. No one is trying to make him wrong, but wrong people are all around. They cannot be anything else; they are helpless.

A child is born without any pattern. Only a deep longing for happiness is present, but he doesn't know how to achieve it; the how is unknown. He knows this much is certain, that happiness is to be attained. He will struggle his whole life, but the means, the methods how it is to be achieved, where it is to be achieved, where he should go to find it, he doesn't know. The society teaches him how to achieve happiness, and the society is wrong.

A child wants happiness, but we don't know how to teach him to be happy. And whatsoever we teach him, it becomes the path towards misery. For example, we teach him to be good. We teach him not to do certain things and to do certain things without ever thinking that it is natural or unnatural. We say, "Do this; don't do that." Our "good" may be unnatural - and if whatsoever we teach as good is unnatural, then we are creating a pattern of misery.

For example, a child is angry, and we tell him, "Anger is bad. Don't be angry." But anger is natural, and just by saying, "Don't be angry," we are not destroying anger, we are just teaching the child to suppress it. Suppression will become misery because whatsoever is suppressed becomes poisonous. It moves into the very chemicals of the body; it is toxic. And continuously teaching, that "Don't be angry," we are teaching him to poison his own system.

One thing we are not teaching him: how not to be angry. We are simply teaching him how to suppress the anger. And we can force him because he is dependent on us. He is helpless; he has to follow us. If we say, "Don't be angry," then he will smile. That smile will be false. Inside he is bubbling, inside he is in turmoil, inside there is fire, and he is smiling outside.

A small child - we are making a hypocrite out of him. He is becoming false and divided. He knows that his smile is false, his anger is real, but the real has to be suppressed and the unreal has to be forced. He will be split. And by and by, the split will become so deep, the gap will become so deep, that whenever he smiles he will smile a false smile.

And if he cannot be really angry, then he cannot be really anything because reality is condemned. He cannot express his love, he cannot express his ecstasy - he has become afraid of the real. If you condemn one part of the real, the whole reality is condemned, because reality cannot be divided and a child cannot divide.

One thing is certain: the child has come to understand that he is not accepted. As he is, he is not acceptable. The real is somehow bad, so he has to be false. He has to use faces, masks. Once he has learned this, the whole life will move in a false dimension. And the false can only lead to misery, the false cannot lead to happiness. Only the true, authentically real, can lead you towards ecstasy, towards peak experiences of life - love, joy, meditation, whatsoever you name.

Everybody is brought up in this pattern, so you long for happiness, but whatsoever you do creates misery. The first thing towards happiness is to accept oneself, and the society never teaches you to accept yourself. It teaches you to condemn yourself, to be guilty about yourself, to cut many parts. It cripples you, and a crippled man cannot reach to the goal. And we are all crippled.

Attachment is misery, but from the very beginning the child is taught for attachment. The mother will say to the child, "Love me; I am your mother." The father will say, "Love me; I am your father" - as if someone is a father or a mother so he becomes automatically lovable.

Just being a mother doesn't mean much or just being a father doesn't mean much. To be a father is to pass through a great discipline. One has to be lovable. To be a mother is not just to reproduce. To be a mother means a great training, a great inner discipline. One has to be lovable.

If the mother is lovable, then the child will love without any attachment. And wherever he will find that someone is lovable, he will love. But mothers are not lovable, fathers are not lovable; they have never thought in those terms - that love is a quality. You have to create it; you have to become.

You have to grow. Only then can you create love in others. It cannot be demanded. If you demand it, it can become an attachment, but not love. So the child will love the mother because she is his mother. The mother or the father, they become the goals. These are relationships, not love. Then he becomes attached to the family, and family is a destructive force because the family of the neighbor is separate. It is not lovable because you don't belong to it. Then your community, your nation... but the neighboring nation is the enemy.

You cannot love the whole humanity. Your family is the root cause. And the family has not been bringing you to be a lovable person, and a loving person. It is forcing some relationships. Attachment is a relationship, and love - love is a state of mind. Your father will not say to you, "Be loving," because if you are loving you can be loving to anybody. Even sometimes the neighbor may be more lovable than your father, but the father cannot accept this - that anybody can be more lovable than him, because he is your father. So relationship has to be taught, not love.

This is my country; that's why I have to love this country. If simply this is taught: that love - then I can love any country. But the politician will be against it, because if I love any country, if I love this earth, then I cannot be dragged into war. So the politicians will teach, "Love this country. This is your country. You are born here. You belong to this country; your life, your death, belongs to this country." So he sacrifices you for it.

The whole society is teaching you relationships, attachments, not love. Love is dangerous because it knows no boundaries. It can move; it is freedom. So your wife will teach you, "Love me because I am your wife." The husband is teaching the wife, "Love me because I am your husband." Nobody is teaching love.

If simply love is taught, then the wife can say, "But the other person is more lovable." If the world was really free to love, then just being a husband cannot carry any meaning, just by being a wife, doesn't mean anything. Then love will freely flow. But that is dangerous; the society cannot allow it, the family cannot allow it, religions cannot allow it. So in the name of love they teach attachment, and then everybody is in misery.

When Patanjali says "non-attachment", he is not anti-love. Really, he is for love. Non-attachment means be natural, loving, flowing, but don't get obsessed and addicted. Addiction is the problem. Then it is like a disease. You cannot love anybody except your child - this is addiction. Then you will be in misery. Your child can die; then there is no possibility for your love to flow. Even if your child is not going to die, he will grow. And the more he grows, the more he will become independent. And then there will be pain. Every mother suffers, every father suffers.

And the child will become adult, he will fall in love with some woman. And then the mother suffers: a competitor has entered. But this is because of attachment. If a mother really loved the child, she will help him to be independent. She will help him to move in the world and to make as many love contacts as possible, because she would know that the more you love, the more you are fulfilled. And when her child falls in love with a woman, she will be happy; she will dance with joy.

Love never gives you misery because if you love someone you love his happiness. If you are attached to someone, you don't love his happiness, you love only your selfishness; you are concerned only with your own egocentric demands.

Freud discovered many things. One of them is mother or father fixation. He says the most dangerous mother is that which forces the child to love her so much that he becomes fixed, and he will not be able to love anybody else. So there are millions of people suffering because of such fixations.

As far as I have been trying to study many people... Almost all the husbands, at least ninety-nine percent, are trying to find their mothers in their wives. Of course, you cannot find your mother in your wife; your wife is not your mother. But a deep fixation with the mother, and then they are dissatisfied with the wife because she is not mothering them. And every wife is searching for the father in the husband. No husband is your father. And if she is not satisfied with the fathering, then she is dissatisfied.

These are fixations. In Patanjali's language, he calls them attachments. Freud calls them fixations. The words differ, but the meaning is the same. Don't get fixed; be flowing. Non-attachment means you are not fixed. Don't be like ice cubes, be like water - flowing. Don't be frozen.

Every attachment becomes a frozen thing, dead. It is not vibrating with life; it is not a constantly moving response. It is not moment to moment alive, it is fixed. You love a person - if it is love, then you cannot predict what is going to happen next moment. It is impossible to predict; moods change like weather. You cannot say the next moment also your lover will be loving to you. Next moment he may not feel like loving. You cannot expect.

If he in the next moment also loves you, it is good, you are thankful. If he is not loving in the next moment, nothing can be done; you are helpless. You have to accept the fact that he is not in the mood. Nothing to cry about, simply there is no mood! You accept the situation. You don't force the lover to pretend, because pretension is dangerous.

If I feel loving towards you, I say, "I love you," but the next moment I can say, "No, I don't feel any love in this moment." So there are only two possibilities - either you accept my non-loving mood, or you force that "Whether you love me or not, at least show that you love me." If you force me, then I become false and the relationship becomes a pretension, a hypocrisy. Then we are not true to each other. And two persons who are not true to each other how can they be in love? Their relationship will have become a fixation.

Wife and husband, they are fixed, dead. Everything is certain. They are behaving towards each other as if they are things. You come to your home, your furniture will be the same because furniture is dead. Your house will be the same because house is dead. But you cannot expect your wife to be the same, she is alive, a person. And if you expect her to be the same as she was when you left the house, then you are forcing her to be just a piece of furniture, just a thing. Attachment forces the persons related to be things and love helps the persons to be more free, to be more independent, to be more true. But truth can only be in constant flow, it can never be frozen.

When Patanjali says "non-attachment, he is not saying to kill your love. Rather, on the contrary, he is saying, "Kill all that poisons your love, kill all the obstacles, destroy all the obstacles that kill your love." Only a yogi can be loving. The worldly person cannot be loving, he can be attached.

Remember this: attachment means fixation - and you cannot accept anything new in it, only the past. You don't allow the present, you don't allow the future to change anything. And life is change. Only death is unchanging.

If you are unattached, then moment to moment you move without any fixation. Every moment life will bring new happinesses, new miseries. There will be dark nights and there will be sunny days, but you are open; you don't have a fixed mind. When you don't have a fixed mind even a miserable situation cannot give you misery, because you don't have anything to compare it. You were not expecting something against it, so you cannot be frustrated.

You get frustrated because of your demands. You were thinking that when you will come back home, your wife will be just standing outside to welcome you. And if she is not standing there outside to welcome you, you cannot accept it. And this gives you frustration and misery. You demand, and through demand you create misery. And demand is possible only if you are attached. You cannot demand with persons who are strangers to you. Only with attachment demand comes in. That is why all attachments become hellish.

Patanjali says be non-attached. That means be flowing, accepting, whatsoever life brings. Don't demand and don't force. Life is not going to follow you. You cannot force life to be according to you. It is better to flow with the river rather than pushing it. Just flow with it! Much happiness becomes possible. There is already much happiness all around you, but you cannot see it because of your wrong fixations.

But this non-attachment in the beginning will only be a seed. In the end, non-attachment becomes desirelessness. In the beginning non-attachment means non-fixation; in the end non-attachment will mean desirelessness, no desire. In the beginning no demand; in the end no desire.

But if you want to reach to this end of no-desire, start from no-demand. Even for twenty-four hours try Patanjali's formula. Just for twenty-four hours, flowing with life, not demanding anything. Whatsoever life gives, feeling grateful, thankful. Just moving for twenty-four hours in a prayerful state of mind - not asking, not demanding, not expecting - and you will have a new opening. Those twenty-four hours will become a new window. And you will feel how ecstatic you can become.

But you will have to be alert in the beginning. It cannot be expected that non-attachment, for the seeker, can be a spontaneous act.

 

 

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