Dear Trapper, I have this particular condition. I'm wondering if it will turn into something chronic?

Out of the blue, I'm overcome by this incredible calm and clarity. It's as if God is sitting right here with me, just kicking back & communing, telling jokes & weird stories, laying down how it went down & what needs to be done. Just an ongoing discourse with Jesus all day long, about everything. I've release my ego, still working on my forgiveness, guilt, and shame. It is less, being unburdened through forgiveness slowly; eventually. Have been getting some pretty good prayers of late: an energetic, electric wave encompassing the whole Earth, like in a movie, the shockwave from an asteroid impact's shockwave spreading out. My intention healing for everything, the binding of evil. I must be doing something right because I get hammered afterwards. yet, everything resonates with this spiritual wholeness & fullness of heart - myocarditis from the bw? perhaps, or a superspreader, yes, but it's transcendent of all material, all flesh, and stands in towering contrast and defiant opposition to the trivially carnal, full of Jesus'love. It's so uplifting, like I'm lighter. I have billions of creative thoughts in a rapid, morphing evolution that it's impossible to do anything about most of it, like trying to remember a dream. Thing is, I'm of the growing opinion that anything of the flesh is naturally corrupted, therefore unworthy of endeavor, all ultimately for naught, a distraction, 'a simple crutch to occupy my time', a fool's errand, a stumbling block, and a millstone round all our necks. I subsist on the mercy of The Beatitudes. Absolution and justice happen. Love prevails.

Other symptoms: missing time, marked contentment (when the world events and condition are ignored, nay, shunned), increased gratitude & gratefulness, periods of bemusement, smiling and laughing readily and frequently, just a general sense of super-well-being, a heightened sense of interconnectedness - a oneness with everything, even the bad which is disconcerting, a heightened sense of relaxation - i mean, almost-literally floating, while feeling like I'm sinking into my chair/couch/chair. Other times, I'm overcome by a state of profound grief for the world and all its creatures, especially those exploited, harmed or abused in any way, those killed, maimed, crippled in the name of greed or empire, to the point of abject revulsion and intense bereavement.

These feeling can alternate, overlap, or occur simultaneously. I'm just wondering if I should be concerned. Do I need help? Am I schizophrenic? Or is the world? I've been having these symptoms for 46 years, and intensely for 42. So I guess my real concern is, is this becoming chronic?

Thanks!