Question: “I have been married to a man for almost 7 years. I believe I may have entered my gay marriage because of a deep fear and mistrust of women. I found an ease of connection and brotherhood with my best friend that I possibly used to feed my own narcissism in our gay relationship. I believe I also felt an unwillingness to step into the deepest corners of my mental basement to work on foundational aspects of my history. I am deeply saddened that I have stolen seven years of my husband’s life in opportunity loss to find a truly gay lifetime partner, and I fear that I will not be able to surmount twenty-eight years of dysfunction with women of my past to build a virtuous marriage with a wife and children in the future. I have always had sexual attraction to women, and I have dated women, including a largely physical, two-year relationship with one. Please help me to unpack this foundational problem so that I can overcome my fear and move toward the best life for myself, my husband, and a potential future wife and children. I hope that my experience may also be a learning opportunity for others who may be confusing a lack of healthy male connection and a mistrust of women for homosexuality.”
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