Can anyone help

I’ve always felt I’ve had a gift that I have yet to understand how to use or control. It is driving me nuts. I have tried meditating and finding it very difficult to shut my thoughts off. They are very in one ear out the other and I create scenarios and problems and have to redirect myself to my core and shut my mind off again.
I finally managed to slow things down and when I did I found this voice that I hear often. I think it’s my inner voice. This voice is good and I need to listen to her more. I was able to feel this in my heart and my core. Without even realizing it, I had wrapped my arms completely around myself, giving myself the biggest hug and i seen this little girl it looked like me and she says “hello! It’s so nice to see you again!” And it scared me and I broke myself out of meditation. That’s when I realized I had been hugging myself and had watering eyes. I’m having a hard time meditating again because now I’m fighting my ego - why me. What makes me so special. Etc.
Any tips on meditating or channeling this in? I’ve nrver in my 30 Years tried to actually look into my possible abilities. Tweet