Re: Please help me.

JamieT, I am so sorry you're in such distress.

I know that you're trying to do everything that you can do manage this situation, and it is a dreadful one, indeed.  But, this is temporary - keep telling yourself that it's temporary, even if it seems like you'll  never get better.

I'm very familiar with panic attacks.  I've gone to the emergency room in ambulances on a few occasions when I honestly believed that I was having a cardiac arrest.  In every event, it was a panic attack.  Breathing became rapid, I was dizzy, my chest felt like it had been placed in a vise, and all I could think about was what my son was going to do if I died, suddenly.  I haven't had a panic attack in about 4 years.

I wanted to share that with you because I'm reading that you aren't experiencing support.  At all.  "Manly man" doesn't cut it, sweetie.  When a partner is in distress, the other partner does their bit to help their partner rest and recover.  Stop doing anything for everyone else.  Child care?  I'm interpreting that as your being a stay-at-home-mom?  If so, is there any family that can come in and help you?  Are you afraid to ask for help?  Do it.  Ask someone to come in and take over.  You deserve to take care of yourself.

Along with this list of protocols, I will also gently recommend that you get involved in some intensive counseling to help deal with the anxiety of being this sick.  It doesn't mean that you're crazy - it just means that you're not in a position to do a whole lot of self-care.  And, at this specific time, your needs supercede those of everyone else.  And, this means seeing to your protocols, your nutrition, and as much REST as you can manage - call someone and then tell your spouse that you "need" him to step up to the proverbial plate.  Your emotional  health is directly related to your physical responses, and it is an imperative that everyone understands this fact.  "Chilling" after work is out of the question.  He can do laundry, he can clean, and he can get involved in helping you to recover by doing something.  I know what you're describing and I'm not going to go into that matter, right now.  At this very moment, you DO need help, and you need to be very assertive about this, specifically.  

Brightest blessings to you and keep telling yourself that you're going to be just fine, in due time.  For whatever reason, this has occurred and all things happen for "A Reason," even if we cannot imagine what "reason" could possibly exist for us to endure such pain and anguish.  So...........try to focus on the moment, on your recovery, and your mantra is, "This is just temporary."