Re: Relentless fear after being robbed at gunpoint

I'm so grateful to read that you're recovering - too many times, people will try to pretend that traumatic things never happened, or they think that admission of fear makes them "weak."  Fear is a real thing, particularly for those who have experienced a traumatic event.  For me, it was prolonged, so it took some years before I was well on my road to recovery.

A word of caution, here....as I mentioned, I am truly grateful that you're recovering, but it is vital to understand that PTSD doesn't completely disappear - ever.  At some point, at some time, and for whatever reason, you'll feel "triggered."  This term has been destroyed by current social bastardization of the true psychological/psychiatric meaning, but it is an actual physiological response to a sight, sound, aroma, quality of light, weather condition, or any other stimulus of our senses that causes the brain to recollect a traumatic event.  The symptoms are:  shortness of breath; nausea; sense of immediate danger; compulsion to lash out, run away, or even freeze in place.  "Triggering" is, quite literally, an episode where the brain re-experiences a traumatic event as the result of that external stimulus. 

Once a trigger has been experienced and identified, it remains a challenge to manage but, as with all things, it becomes easier to identify and manage over time.  And, understanding the physiological root of triggering may be helpful in management. 

When we were still scrawling images on cave walls, we honed our survival instincts via strong DNA, and constant practice to identify potentially life-threatening situations.  Such as being out on a hunting expedition, smelling the aroma of a stagnant bog, and then getting stuck in a deep mud pool that took hours to work one's way out of.  After that terrifying ordeal, if one smelled that same boggy aroma, the brain would sound all survival alerts to every part of the body for the individual to do whatever was necessary to avoid getting stuck, again.  Adrenaline would pump, the muscles would tighten up, the breathing would change, and the sight and hearing would become super-human because of the flood of hormones to every cell of the body.  This is recognized as the "fight-flight-freeze" response.  Today, fight-or-flight isn't used in the same manner, which is why we don't "get over" traumatic events, quickly. 

The main thing is to not be hard on yourself.  And, well-meaning people who have never experienced such an event cannot possibly understand the breadth and depth of what a victim suffers, even long after the crime occurred or the perpetrator(s) is behind bars or even dead.  Pity the people who don't understand and, over time, you'll develop forgiveness for them for not having experienced such a violent crime when you did.

Brightest blessings to you on your healing path