Telepathic Chirping Spider

I was sitting on the toilet this morning watching a spider creep along the bath tub caulk. I thought WELL SHIT I GUESS I BETTER KILL IT OR IT WILL START MAKING A MESS AND MULTIPLYING when I heard a chirp in the air. It sounded kind of like a cricket and kind of like a bird. I fantasized that the spider was communicating with me and decided to talk to it. I said I DONT WANT TO KILL YOU, BUT YOU CANNOT LIVE IN HERE AND IF I HAD A SPIDER CATCHER I WOULD PICK YOU UP AND PUT YOU OUTSIDE. Then I began to dread picking up the spider with a paper towel, because I knew it would run really fast and be hard to catch and I would probably end up smashing it. There was a towel on the floor and I was wondering if I could scoop it up with the towel without smashing it and thought about how to make it get on the towel, but I have tried such tactics before and bugs just run helter skelter and never go where I am shooing them. As I sat there wishing the spider was on the towel so I could just pick it up and take it outside the little critter walked over to the towel and climbed on board! I thought ILL BE DAMNED IT MUST HAVE READ MT MIND. I gently folded the towel over the spider so it wouldnt hop off, took it outside and unfolded it so the thing could climb off. Seemed just like it read my mind.