Re: Help, I Need Advice.

Perhaps, your parents became frustrated and angry and kicked you out.  I don't know.  But, my parents sent me to boarding school when they couldn't stand my acting-out any longer.  My behaviors were outrageous and I was causing such stress that there were no other choices for them.  I was forced to kick my eldest son out of my house because of his behaviors.  He was 18 and he was acting-out much worse than I ever did.  There came a point where I was afraid for my life.  My job was suffering, my mind was suffering, and I had no other options.  A part of me died, that day, and all I wanted from him was an acknowledgment that he had done specific things, a sincere apology, and a dedicated effort to pull himself together.  He opted to remain stubborn. 

Having typed that, if you return to your parents with the intention of pulling yourself together, sorting stuff out, and all of that, you might be surpirsed at the outcome.  Shelters are not safe places and I believe that your life is well worth returning to your folks and making every effort to sort it all out. 

In the meantime, you are not safe with this fellow.  Same-sex domestic abuse and violence is much higher than current statistics reflect because of the stigma and fear of reporting abuse. 

Contemplate where you want to be 5 years from now.  Then, consider contacting your parents to begin sorting things out.  I've been there, myself, and I've been a parent without options.  It will NEVER, ever "get better" with this fellow because abuse only gets worse. 

Again, blessings to you on your journey